Day 287 - After School. Not So Special

May 22nd, 2010

Last night I was acting as a wing woman to my friend and ended up introducing her to the only semi-attractive man at the Brooklyn Inn. Good cheekbones. Soon into the conversation, the guy tells us that he's an actor and we probably recognize him from the 1988 after school special, "Date Rape".

He was proud. And I had a blog topic.

I did give the chiseled faced guy credit for having no shame in sharing (what i assume) is his only acting credit. He owned it. Just like the guy on the "Living with Genital Warts" poster.

it's unfortunate that he wasn't cast in multiple programs because I would have been among after school royalty had his resume included more not so memorable films with provocative and sensitive topics like:

- "My Dad Lives in a Downtown Hotel"

- "Me and My Hormones"

- "It Isn't Easy Being a Teenage Millionaire"

- "It's No Crush, I'm in Love"

- "Daddy Can't Read"

As a child, I would sit (on our yellow shag carpet) mildly mesmerized by these specials that were after school. They claimed to be crusading against all the controversial and social issues facing the yutes. Yet their mission backfired because kids are driven to experiment with mind altering substances and have unprotected sex to take the edge off of seeing a televised program with "Is this really fucking for real?" production value, acting and content.

After school special execs, Enough. I said enough! I think your product is lame. Kids think its lame. And your kids think its lame. If your income is based on cluttering the airwaves with this garbage..I say go all out. Some suggested titles you should be able to work with:

- "My Dad Lives in a Downtown Hotel. With Charo. From 'The Love Boat'."

- "Me and My Hormones. We're Buddy Cops"

- "It Isn't Easy Being a Teenage Millionaire. Or a Teenage Robot"

- "It's No Crush, I'm in Love. With a Possum"

- "Daddy Can't Read. But He Can Sew."