Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Day 270 - Cro-Magnum, Zamfir and a Damsel in Distress

May 5th, 2010

I have a virus on my computer that's the result of downloading a picture of Dr.Phil being compared to a porpoise.Was it worth it? Kind of.

Don't judge me. I don't judge you. To your face.

I was searching for the perfect picture to attach to yesterday's blog entry("Enablers Are Really Just Special Givers") about Dr.Phil's evil alternative universe twin brother. Dr.Fil. My instincts tell me that destruction wouldn't have ensued if I had just gone with the picture of Dr. Phil making out with Oprah on the couch that Tom Cruise attacked.

I don't mean to minimize my distress because I am experiencing slight nausea caused by my computer expressing rather undesirable signs of nonperformance. So far I've remained in mediocre spirits while being soothed by visualizations of the worthless scare of the millennium Y2K fiasco that inspired an Off Broadway play entitled, "Y2K. You're OK".

At this very moment, my "electronic device designed to accept data, perform prescribed mathematical and logical operations at high speed, and display the results of these operations" is being serviced. In an appropriate way. Luckily, my neighborhood friend is a master of the computer. Much like Zamfir is the master of the pan flute. He prefers that I not mention his name on the interweb so I grant his wish to be referred to by his code name.Cro-Magnum.

I assume you're asking, "But Jax! I don't understand! Where are you writing from now!?"
I'm scared. Confused. Need to be held. And not in an appropriate way." Simmer down child. I'm blessed with friends who have my back during times of mechanical distress. Mind you, I'm on on day 270 of my 365 day blog entry challenge...I have no other choice other than being the MacGyver of finding alternative resources of getting my manipulated perceptions into the blogosphere. I have committed to writing for you. The people. And maybe some literary agents that will validate that I possess a smidge of talent. And good hair.

Today's entry was brought to you by another friend's PC who was kind enough to lend me his computer while I'm separated from my life force with a keyboard. He doesn't require to remain anonymous...but for no apparent reason I'd like to refer to him as Zamfir.

Is there porn on here? Oh yes. This guy. Total perv.Who appears to have an affinity for disobedient Latina contortionists .

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