Sunday, May 16, 2010

Day 281 - Ask Jax - Part 13

May 16th, 2010

This is the 13th installment of my "Ask Jax" series. I'm open to answering any of your pressing inquiries. Any topic. I can't guarantee instant publication, but I will hold onto all questions and attempt to answer them at some point during my 365 day blog entry challenge.Remember there are no stupid questions. Just stupid people who ask questions.

On a scale of 1-10, how crappy does the new "Sex and the City" movie look? - Eli Gurock, Boston, Massachusetts

Jax's Answer - I'm not insensitive to the fact that the overdone sexacapes of four women past their prime is unappealing to men. I get it. I feel you...and those of you with penises are in luck. I sneaked onto the "Sex and the City" sound stage (disguised as a craft services cart) and clandestinely slipped in some of my own script revisions to the sequel that I guarantee will result with a feature film that will be luring testosterone to the cineplex. My alterations include more pain, war, destruction, electric grills, chest bumps, soul patches, cured meats, internet porn, rub 'n' tugs, motor oil, wings from Hooters, ice truckers and girl on girl action. Carrie's new love interest: Chuck Norris.

What's another word for thesaurus? - Ted Kim, Seattle Washington

Jax's answer - Another word for thesaurus is Ted Kim. This Korean knows words like real good and stuff. He also makes a mean Kimchi. With ketchup.

What happens on day 366? Does the music stop? - Mark Deutsch, Thornhill, Ontario

Jax's Answer - I assume Mark is referring to my labor of love endeavor of committing to this 365 day blog entry challenge of cosmic angst through the eyes of comedic insight. When my yearlong blogapalooza comes to an end, I see myself plunging onward with one of the following:

1) I'll continue writing my daily blog entries. In Dutch.

2) After following through on a year long writing project, I'll finally have the confidence to fulfill my true dream of hosting a game show called, "Guess How Many Fingers I'm Holding Behind My Back."

3) I'll work on my novel entitled, "Enough About Me. More About Me."

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