Thursday, May 13, 2010

Day 278 - Jax TV

May 13th, 2010

My loyal reader, Mark Deutsch, suggested that I start a TV Channel,"Jax TV". This conception piqued my interest and I immediately moved forward with his request.

One critic agrees(with me)that I've gloriously succeeded in developing a "Gripping lineup of shows that puts the Cleveland Community Access channel to shame." The rest of the critics concur that ""Jax continues to live in a world with a disturbing lack of ethics, delusions of grandiosity and animated chirping birds."

Below is a sampling of the non-Emmy winning programs that you can expect to experience on Jax TV:

6:00 am - "Good Morning You"
- This early morning show consists of failed journalists who really go that extra mile to deliver inconsequential news in a style oozing with mediocrity. In order to determine how long we could expect winter to last, weather man, Scooter McGee, interviewed a groundhog. Sitting on a swivel chair.

11:00 am - "The Pew"
- A panel of priests sit on a long bench in an Episcopalian Church to discuss Fashion Don'ts. At mass.

2:00 pm - "All My Genetic Defects"
- This American soap opera is set in the fictional city of Fork in the Road, West Virginia. The show revolves around the eventful lives of an inbred tormented coal mining family.

4:00 pm - "Oprah"

8:00 pm - "Angus Beefing it Up"
- A zany sitcom where valet employee, Angus Tripp, is more than a parker of cars. He's their friend. Along with his kooky sidekick, Studebaker, crazy shenanigans ensue.

10:00 pm - "CSI: Jax's Pants"

11:30 pm - "Late Night With Gallagher"

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