May 9th, 2010
This is the 12th installment of my "Ask Jax" series. I'm open to answering any of your pressing inquiries. Any topic. I can't guarantee instant publication, but I will hold onto all questions and attempt to answer them at some point during my 365 day blog entry challenge. Remember there are no stupid questions. Just stupid people who ask questions.
What are the winning lottery numbers? - Julie Trell - San Francisco, California
Jax's answer - I'm ashamed to admit that my instincts with determining winning lottery numbers is not my forte. I had to outsource and logically turned to the 80's power pop-rock band, "TommyTutone". Wired with uncanny psychic intuition, they revealed the winning lottery numbers through the gift of song. The answer:"867-5309."
Prostate exam or Colonoscopy? - Mark Symmes - Baltimore Maryland
Jax's Answer - An anal probe from an alien named Fecalisese. From the planet Asswipidis.
Why are you so darn lovable? - Ruth Kabat Thomas - New York, New York
Jax's Answer - I only berate people (vehemently at length) behind their backs. In addition, I wear a cotton polyester blend t-shirt that reads, "Tell me I'm lovable. Or I will cut you."
How ironic is it that the 50th birthday of the birth control pill is on Mother's Day? - Kerry Schwarz, Boston, Massachusetts
Jax's Answer - Not as ironic as the anniversary of the one night stand being on Father's Day.