May 18th, 2010
The Oprah is the newest unfortunate recipient of Kitty Kelley's latest unauthorized profile that contains sensationalized, inaccurate and unflattering personal anecdotes and details.
In a statement issued by Crown Publishing Group, Kelly said, "Oprah Winfrey has fascinated me for many years — as a woman, she has wielded an unprecedented amount of influence over the American culture and psyche."
"So of course I must destroy her." OK, this last part is an unauthorized quote. By me.
American investigative journalist and author of several best-selling unauthorized biographies of celebrities and politicians writes that Oprah used drugs, prostituted herself and alluded that she had a lesbian affair with Diane Sawyer.
Kitty Litter, any smidgen of credibility dissipates with this gay allegation. Anyone who reads the unauthorized biography blogs knows that if Oprah were wooed by the ways of the woman, Gayle would be the recipient of her lovin'.
A few questions for the soul of the 'time to get your roots done" lady who's penned mean spirited, unfavorable and discredited details about the lives of Jacqueline Onassis, the British Royal Family, Frank Sinatra, Nancy Reagan and the Bushes.
Why so viscous?
Why so unfounded?
Do you reveal flagrant and absurd falsehoods to destroy the images of public figures to desensitize yourself from your own poor life choices?
I had my team of imaginary assistants investigate why you utilize retaliatory, vengeful and hostile so-called journalism to strip the honor or people more successful than you.
According to a PowerPoint presentation exhibited to me (with a life saber pointer) by my delusions, I've become cognizant that you have galloped through life concealing your own stimulating personal matters. Up until now.
After the success of my novel, "Enough About Me. More About Me", I plan to commence my next literary project, "Kitty Kelley: An Unauthorized Biography".
Ms. Kelley, thank you. You have confirmed that my wallet will be filled and my ego will be fed once I publish the following:
- Your father was an alley cat.
- You were born without an anus.
- You've had multiple alleged affairs with community college sports mascots. Including "the Fighting Slug!"