Day 353 - Little Bunny Fee Fee

July 27th, 2010

Check it:

Consumer Reports estimates that every year U.S. consumers pay at least $216 billion in financial fees. Let's break it down. Annually, each of us is paying $750 in miscellaneous fees.

After asking my readers to share some bizarre fees on goods and services, it turns out that we're not only being slapped in the face with cell phone bills, credit cards, internet service providers and airlines. Here's what I've learned:

- I still find it insane when I have to pay to use a public restrooms while abroad! Additionally, while in Turkey, I got charged for the use of condiments on our table at the resort I was staying at...salt and pepper I'm talkin! - Amy Kerner

- An Irish airline charges for the bathroom. - Nicole Abramovici

- McDonald's has their own tax called take-out tax. Look at your receipt. It ain't no couple pennies nothing neither. Every time you order to go or even to eat in. - Alexander V Moukarbel

I know. You're saying, "But Jax, all this service fee stuff is still so confusing to me. Please explain it to me. Gently."

Alright. Do you remember Little Bunny Foo Foo, a children's poem involving a rabbit harassing a population of field mice? Let's review:

Little bunny Foo Foo
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And bopping them on the head
Down came the Good Fairy, and she said
"Little bunny Foo Foo
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And bopping them on the head."

It turns out that L'il Bunny Foo Foo's frowned upon behavior has spiraled even further and he's changed his name to Little Bunny Fee Fee. The once rather innocent poem now has some disturbing subtext.

Little bunny Fee Fee
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And bopping them on the head(and telling the mice that if they fly internationally on American, British Airways, Continental, Delta, United, US Airways and Virgin Atlantic, they'll be paying $60 to check a second bag.)
Down came the Good Fairy, and she said
"Little bunny Fee Fee
I don't want to see you( charging $36.95 should the mice choose to e- file their taxes on TurboTax. and...)
Scooping up the field mice
And bopping them on the head( by advertising free texts if they're not on an unlimited plan. When in reality, mice end up paying $0.15 every time they send or receive a text.)

Heads up: I'll be imposing a $15 charge for reading my blog. $45 should you reread it.