July 26th, 2010
I want to communicate communication today. Quite simply - There can't be a relationship with someone without communicating with them.
I'm not just talking a romantic union. I'm going broad. Readers, it's time to negotiate the oceans between ourselves and our special someones, friendships, coworkers, drug dealers and basically everyone who crosses our path. With a mouth.
From what my extensive(Google) research tells me, by expressing our thoughts, values, priorities, ideas, feelings, attitudes and beliefs insensitively, we set the stage for others to experience us negatively. According to interweb wisdom on effective communication, it is not recommended to be:
But how do we fix the remedies of negative verbal two way traffic? The virtual world gave me some suggestions, but I wasn't feeling it. So I've come up with three groups that I feel could teach us how to communicate more congenially, openly and clearly.
GROUP 1 - DOGS
To communicate harmoniously, I recommend that people also partake in a two way ass sniff. You know what that says? "I'm assertive. Direct. Anus friendly."
GROUP 2 - PEOPLE WITH HEADSETS
People in careers that involve wearing a headset seem to be on the right track. Ask the the air traffic guys, the gap employees preventing many a khaki disaster with this microphoned boy band headband and bouncers at high end night clubs who communicate in an accountable manner( by agreeing not to let ugly people in.) Once a bouncer asked another bouncer, via headset, if he should let in a girl wearing a low cut tank . He was fired for tying up the frequency.
GROUP 3 - DOGS WITH HEADSETS
The Australian man who invented the labradoodle, Wally Conran, is now breeding dogs with bouncers. This population is considered the "Buddhas" of Communicators. Bonus that they're hypoallergenic.