Saturday, July 10, 2010

Day 336 Ask Jax - Part 20

July 10th, 2010

This is the 20th installment of my "Ask Jax" series. I'm open to answering any of your pressing inquiries. Any topic. I can't guarantee instant publication, but I will hold onto all questions and attempt to answer them at some point during my 365 day blog entry challenge. Remember there are no stupid questions. Just stupid people who ask questions.

Just came up from F train...on platform was an enormous doody...human kind...who does this ..when do they do it ? - Ruth Kabat Thomas, New York, New York

Jax's Answer - I'll tell you who leaves their fecal matter on the subway stairs...someone with a healthy digestive tract. I salute a person with a moral code that screams, "I can do(do) what I want, where I want and when I want." These heroes possess convictions that deserve to be celebrated. Ruth, you too will be esteemed when you just allow for your colon to take charge. Yes even in and around public transportation. I can help. Because I prefer not to dote on myself, I seldom share that I am indeed...a colon whisperer. I'd be happy to make a house call if you're ready for the world to stand up(on the subway platform) and take notice of your "living on the edge" excretion choices. Before my arrival, please consume 78 pounds of Kale.

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? - Anonymous

Jax's Answer: Seriously? This is what you give me? Such a lame play on words taints my eyes and the only person who could(maybe) get away with saying this is a grandfather. A dying grandfather. You're on probation from visiting my blog and if I knew who you were I would have you do 20 hours of community service at an institution inhabited by people with pathetic one-liners.

Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed? - Claudia Mizrahi - Brooklyn, New York

Jax's Answer - If your definition of problem is awesome... then yes, sexual harassment is awesome for the self-employed. I've been sexually harassing myself for years. My skin has a rosy hue, I'm getting along better with my mother and have taken up para-sailing.

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