Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Day 297 - Ask Jax - Part 15

June 1st, 2010

This is the 15th installment of my "Ask Jax" series. I'm open to answering any of your pressing inquiries. Any topic. I can't guarantee instant publication, but I will hold onto all questions and attempt to answer them at some point during my 365 day blog entry challenge. Remember there are no stupid questions. Just stupid people who ask questions.

Where should I go for a good mani/pedi? - Claudia Mizrahi, Brooklyn, New York

Jax's Answer - I find it most serendipitous that you inquired to where you should have your fingers and toes beautified. My last venture ( Baby Doo Rags. For Babies. In Baby Gangs) has taken flight and I'm in the preproduction stage of having my own Nail Saloon. You read right... saloon. I've hired a team of Korean mani/pedi attendants who not only have a way with an emery board, but also are raging alcoholics. Rest assured, my disturbingly inebriated staff will tend to your callouses, cuticles and peace of mind. Who doesn't want a lush with a razor shaving the dry skin off their heals. Jax's Nail Saloon also offers a special "Spa Pedicure" which includes unlimited shots of Soju(a distilled beverage native to Korea), a refreshing foot soak in a luxurious rose petaled bath of sulfuric acid and a drunk, unlicensed and blindfolded specialist.

Why did YOU cross the road? Brian M. Levy - Dallas, Texas

Jax's answer - Whenever I cross any real(or metaphysical)road, it is safe to assume that I'm being seduced to the other side by some noun(people, place or thing) that has a high probability of wreaking havoc on my mind, body and spirit. If the street for which I speak is heavily trafficked, I develop a deep empathy for Frogger.

Should I fake my orgasms? - Jeremy Berk - Los Angeles, California

Jax's Answer - I'll answer your inquiry with the same response should I ever receive this question - Wouldn't it be awesome to be locked in a storage closet (4-6 feet wide, and 24" in depth) with an angry mime?

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