Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Day 311 - Summer, Something is Different About You. Have you Lost Weight?

June 15th, 2010

On day 33 of my 365 day blog entry challenge, summer was coming to an end and I expressed my feelings in a letter to my favorite season in "Summer, Didn't We Almost Have it All?"

Let's revisit my written sentiment of vulnerability, passion and hormones:

Hey Summer. What’s up?

I write to you after the most unfortunate run in with Fall. Against my will the days are getting shorter, my skin is getting lighter and my bikini is now in storage. I know what I have to say might not seem appropriate as you are about to leave for Australia . Yes, I have known Fall just as long as I have known you sweet Summer…but my loyalty to Autumn seized the day he added more shitty sitcoms to the Must See TV line up, took my tan away and made me crave unreasonable amounts of carbs. Moreover, he took punitive action against me for bashing the movie Autumn in New York with Richard Gere and Winona Ryder. I am just a girl who simply can’t hold in her feelings any longer. You make me melt and I am deeply in love with you Summer. I know you have feelings for me too. I see how you cherish giving me a happier disposition and blonder hair. I often dream of us running through a golf course (hand in rays) filled with high-end grills, gladiolus and drinking teenagers. Yes, we come from different worlds. You’re a season and I have a heartbeat. You encourage promiscuous sex and I am more ethical when it comes to that. You’re prone to hurricanes and I have an opposable thumb. Let me say this to you my precious petunia. I have the resources to make Fall disappear. I have befriended Winter and let’s just say he owes me a favor. I have several good years left and you’ll be around indefinitely since Al Gore decided to fix that pesky global warming issue after he invented the internet. All I ask is that you allow me to pick you up and take you into the night and show you a love like you've never seen before.



Just recently, I did receive a handwritten letter(that was scanned and emailed to me) from my season crush, Summer. I shall share it with you.

Dear Jax,

I apologize for the delayed response. As you know, I've been spreading my sunshine down under. I have thought of you often my dearest Jax and it is only fair that I be forthcoming about my life altering shift in consciousness that was the result of a threesome with Nicole Kidman and a Dingo.

I am proud to admit the following:

I - I drink Zima, the finest well liquors and white zinfandel out of a box.

II - Since I now run with the hipsters, I don't shower, tell anyone I have a trust fund and wear an ironic trucker hat.

III - I'm allergic to water.

IV - I only use roman numerals.

V - I tell people that I like the Grateful dead. But the only song I know is "Truckin'".

VI - I've learned that my father was half-Indian summer.

VII - I think OJ Simpson is innocent.

VIII - My new spiritual leader is an alien named Metarid. From the planet Yamnoin.

IX - I don't like gay people. Or homophobics.

X - I play the triangle. With a spork.

I hope that you can accept me as I am now because( as that ambiguously gay duo known as "Air Supply" once said) You're Every Woman in the World To Me.

New Summer

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