Day 71 - Corporate Frat Guy

October 18th, 2009

Below is a commercial for Corporate Frat Guys.

(To be read and sung like the Bud Light 'Real Men of Genius' commercials)

VOICE-OVER:

Here’s to you Corporate Frat Guy. You’re too old for the classroom and too young for the boardroom.

OVER DRAMATIC SINGER:

Corporate Frat Guy....

VOICE-OVER:

You're the good ‘ol boy at the midtown happy hour who slips a rufie in our drink when we're applying lip gloss. You come from a far away land.

OVER DRAMATIC SINGER:

The land of Sigma Lamda something....

VOICE-OVER:

When we have an opinion…you tell us to shut up and drink our beer…

OVER DRAMATIC SINGER:

We should have kept our mouth shut...yeah....…

VOICE-OVER:

Oh Corporate Frat Guy …we get such a warm fuzzy feeling when you brag about scoring box seats at the Knicks game..even though it’s really not that hard.

OVER DRAMATIC SINGER:

The homeless man down the block who talks to pigeons gets box seats...

VOICE-OVER:

There is something subtly effeminate about you that you attempt to mask with unread Maxim Magazines, late nights out at strip clubs with your "favorite boys" , and constant references to playing football at Kansas State.

OVER DRAMATIC SINGER:

Midnight showers with the Wildcats..Grrr....

VOICE-OVER:

Women often dream of becoming Mrs. Corporate Frat Guy. We’d live in a Red State, you’d take our children caribou hunting and we'd get to be a battered wives.

OVER DRAMATIC SINGER:

You hit so hard because you love so hard.

VOICE-OVER:

But in the meantime, here's to you Corporate Frat Guy for castrating self esteems of women who should have known better and filling their wounds with kosher salt and glass shards. It’s every little girl’s dream.

OVER DRAMATIC SINGER:

You’re a Corporate Frat Guy....

THE END