Saturday, December 19, 2009

Day 133 - Mission Impossible. You’ve Got My Back

Dec 19th, 2009

Please don’t ask me which Jonas Brother is my favorite. They are all so dreamy, special and Christian in their own way. Sometimes I just get consumed with their combination of Christian purity and mediocre talent.

I can’t pick my favorite. It’s impossible. Living in a world where Public Service Announcements use graphics of rainbows and shooting stars that whimsically attempt to convince us that, “If you dream it you can do it,” the word impossible seems to imply a negative connotation. I choose to explore the opposite. Sometimes impossibility presents itself to make room for what is possible.

Even if we exert our best efforts, it can be impossible for some jobs, relationships and jeans to be the right fit. I am an optimist by nature and choose to see that the hopelessly unsuitable, difficult and objectionable attributes of impossibility actually serve as a protective mechanism in the long run. Accepting that which is impossible allows us to embrace the often tough reality of being in the wrong career. The wrong romance. The wrong denim. I’m not saying don’t take chances, but to move forward in life we have to be honest with ourselves and admit, “I don’t feel so good in my faded dark flared leg jeans. In my gut, I know an authentic low rise boot fit are for me. Plus they make my ass look great.”

Below is a list of impossibilities that I am at peace with. Admitting just opens up my vessel to let the right opportunities in. Or some new age bullshit like that:

It is impossible….

-not to admit that that beef jerky is just a dog treat for humans.

-for me to be friends with people who send texts with excessive use of emoticons.

-that at some point in my life that I won’t drop my Blackberry in the toilet.

- not to accept that the Pope and Klan members are essentially wearing the same thing.

-that I would ever go to an audition in the Maple Room at the Newark Airport Howard Johnson. Again.

-that I will overdose on yogurt that keeps middle age women’s digestive tracks in order.

-that when Uncle Gino comes to visit from the Old Country… that he’s happy about being taken to the Olive Garden at a strip mall in Duluth.

-that I will ever go out with that geometry teacher again. He used parallelogram metaphors to describe his mood. “I have to say, that I generally feel like a convex quadrilaterals. But being around you Jacqueline really brings out my isosceles trapezoid.”

-for me to convince myself that muffins are healthy. Muffins are the Gary Busey to the Nick Nolte of cake.

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