Day 125 - Executive in Charge of Myself

December 11th, 2009

A few days ago, I wrote a blog entry entitled “Day 122 - Nice to See You Again, Seinfeld”.
( http://jacquelinekabat.blogspot.com/2009/12/day-122-nice-to-see-you-again-seinfeld.html .) I wrote about being in the audience in the “Saturday Night Live” studios to watch a pre-production show for a new NBC program called “The Marriage Ref”. Jerry Seinfeld is the creator and executive producer. It appears that this particular entry got in the hands of people that are having some anxiety around the content.

I received an email last night from a man from the Los Angeles based company producing this show. I want to protect the anonymity of the company and this guy because the tone of the letter was not mean spirited. He very kindly requested that I remove the information that I posted because it could be damaging to the show. In addition, he mentioned that audience members were supposed to sign confidentiality agreements. Yeah, that didn’t happen. This actually did surprise me because I was the warm up comic for an eBay marketing event at ABC studios this past summer. I remember making a mental note of how meticulous the production team was about getting those signed agreements from the studio audience. Side note, here is a short clip of me in action for that event. Mario Cantone was the host and his stylist insisted on doing my hair. I like to watch it every now and then so I can remind myself that it really is to my benefit to put a little more energy into hair maintenance. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyy7sxePQ2E&feature=related

I digressed. Back to the issue at hand. I received this pleasantly executed letter asking me to remove my blog entry. The letter writer’s title was “Executive in Charge”. I’m not exactly clear what that entails but it is now my new favorite title closely followed by Carcass Cleaner and Persian Kitten Wrangler. I haven’t written him back but evidently feel safe exploring my feelings about this matter in the virtual community. What I need Mr. Executive in Charge to know is that I have committed to a 365 day blog entry challenge of cosmic angst through the eyes of comedic insight. The very nature of removing a post negates the honesty, commitment and integrity that I have promised to this year long writing project, to my readers and to myself. I have no interest in changing my blog's theme to “365 day blog entry challenge minus day 122 because I really should have signed a confidentiality agreement that no one gave me.” I generally try to do the right thing and I personally do not think there are damaging revelations in the blog’s content. Just honest observations. I didn’t wake up that morning with this To Do List: Go to Yoga, organize my closet and then maliciously destroy the new reality show created by one of my comedy heroes.

Removing this post is simply not being true to myself. In short, it would be damaging to me. I’m an artist. I’ve finally made peace that I have no other choice other than to stay on this often daunting, complicated and exhilarating creative path. Believe me Executive in Charge, sometimes I think life would be easier if I were wired to be an accountant getting steady paychecks. So this is who I am. Blog 122 is who I am. There is no reason for me to even finish this project if I start deleting posts. I wouldn’t keep the stamina to reach day 365. I ran a marathon in 2005 and I didn't hear runners saying, “Yeah, I ran 26 miles but I had to skip mile17 because I got held up waiting in the porta-potty line.”