Day 128 - Tiger, Pick Me! Pick Me!

December 14th, 2009

If I teased my hair, went heavy on the makeup, dressed more whore-esque and had lower self esteem... I'd look like the type of girl Tiger Woods would sleep with. Fingers crossed.

If I were that girl I would refer to myself as Alternative Universe Jax. Or Amber, Katrina or some other stripper or hurricane name. I am not a powerful man so I won’t dissect the psyche of the guy who would be unfaithful to his wife. However, I do feel many of them truly do love their wives. They just hate themselves.

It’s these “other women” I want to comprehend. Girls, I don’t know what has happened to you during your life experience that has put you in the position to be delusional and vulnerable with men who will never love you. There are very few people who take your side once these affairs have been made public knowledge. I consider myself a giver and want to look at a few notable affairs committed by powerful men. I want to wrap my brain around the mindset of a woman who chooses to participate in an act involving poor moral judgment, self destructive behavior and a topic for today’s blog. Ladies, you are simultaneously very complicated and simple to me.

Let’s look at 3 cheaters and what women could possibly gain from offering up their body, soul and reputation:

Thomas Jefferson

Yes, the third president was an adulterer with slaves and I would imagine these women had no choice in the matter. However, I’m sure that his status also lured in other women who didn’t need to put out for this influential Founding Father. In your defense ladies, it would have been cool to use the feathered pen that he used to sign the Declaration of Independence, try on some powdered wigs and probably get free admission for the Monticello tours.

John Edwards

With his striking good looks, soothing southern accent and well coiffed hair, I can see the sex appeal of this North Carolina Senator and Vice Presidential nominee. Yet, I did feel sucker punched because I have great respect for his wife Elizabeth. I assume the benefits to being the other woman could include sharing hair products, trying on the bootstraps that he pulled himself up by and being able to connect with relatives who have crossed over. Oh? That’s just if you had relations with psychic John Edward. My bad.

Jude Law

Um, yeah. I kind of get this one. Good for you ladies!

Here is a word of advice for women still contemplating having their way with Bill Clinton. He was probably only your type when he was in office. Now it would seem like..I don't know…you’re not aiming high enough.