Day 131 - Mud Wrestling Anxiety

December 17th, 2009

Monday morning at approximately 11:34am I made a commitment. A commitment to feel good. Really good. I’m a positive person by nature but I’ve noticed that I’ve been illuminating like a 75 watt light bulb and I want to be illuminating brighter. I’ve been shinier before and life really started working for me rather than against me. I don’t desire to be the brightness level of a halogen lamp. That seems manic. I’d settle for a good steady get the job done 125 watt light bulb. I was so adamant about getting back to “in the flow awesome Jax” that I immediately made an acupuncture appointment partially because I’ve always resonated with this needlework. A very spiritual friend told me that I am extremely “energy sensitive." She also told me that I was a successful Spanish dancer in a past life. Interpret as you wish. There is something to be said about this ancient Chinese healing method of inserting and manipulating needles into various points in my body that does seem to accomplish keeping my chi in flow. I’ve drooled before. I also figured that if I was putting $80 on my credit card that I meant business as the only attention that I’ve put on my Visa in the past two years has pertained to deduction. Not addition. Here’s the thing readers, I’ve been feeling a bit stuck and I need to return to my fluidity. Yay me.

What actions do I need to take to return to bright Jax? Sure, I’d love to save the world but I think smaller steps are more practical in order to maintain this goal. I think it comes down to doing small things for myself. Ourselves. Like acupuncture. My next act of self love was putting two down comforters on my bed. Do you know what it’s like to sleep in a magically cozy fluffy cloud? I do.

I asked you all the following: When blue, what is one small thing that you do for yourself to shift your mood. Can be silly. Can be serious. No wrong answers. Just wrong people who give answers. Or something like that.

Walk briskly up and down the hall.
-Neil Hyman

Play dance music really, really loud.
-Jane Gay

I have a deep spiritual conversation......with the dog.
-Adam Holtz

When I’m stressed or depressed i like to take off on my motorcycle. I’ll go for a short ride or just head down a road to a place I’ve never been. Usually with camera and no expectations. doing 100+ miles an hour always puts a big shit eating grin on my face.
-Zachary B Atkinson

When I'm feeling stressed, I like to go down to the shelter and juggle kittens....I find that this really helps me to put things in perspective
-Gabe Fonorow

I think a little anxiety is a natural and positive force to feel. It reminds us we’re alive. What I am super conscious of since 11:34am on Monday is to be in control of anxiety…not have it control me. Anxiety and I are like two women mud wrestling in a pit in bikinis in front of truckers. Of course, I win and go to state.