December 3rd, 2009
A few nights ago I went out to eat at an Italian restaurant. I had just had some Scotch so I was a bit woozy and indecisive as I was perusing the menu. Reading food options from a piece of paper seemed too strenuous so I was left scanning prepared meals at the restaurant and made notes of what looked appealing. I would love to live in a world where it would be encouraged to just walk around a restaurant with a giant fork(or spork) and ask patrons in the "eating" phase of their dining experience for a bite. But it has occurred to me that this type of proposition is frowned upon. I learned that the hard way.
The woman next to me was eating an intriguing piece of white fish.
I asked her what it was and she told me in a self righteous tone that it was the cod. This is how our exchange went. She will be referred to as SRCEB - Self Righteous Cod Eating Bitch.
Jax – Excuse me m’am..may I ask what you’re eating?
SRCEB - How dare you interrupt me..but since you're legendary blog writer Jacqueline Beth Kabat I will indulge you with a moment of my time. It’s the Cod..it’s superb
Jax – You’re too kind. My friends call me Jax. So..please..call me Jacqueline.
SRCEB - Jackie, this cod is so divine that I am astonishing for choosing it over the salmon. Later in the night, I will be receiving a trophy for ordering it. If you even dare possess a fraction of my awesomeity..you will order the cod
Jax – You are just lovely SRCEB. What a surprise that you are dining alone.
I might have embellished this back and forth a little. And by a little...I mean that I pretty much made the whole thing up. It's fun to allow hard liquor make our memory recollection more colorful. More colourful if you're Canadian.
So yeah, I ended up ordering the cod. I wanted the trophy.