March 18th, 2010
As you know, I unnaturally enjoy spending intimate time with Urban Dictionary, a website dedicated to defining slang, phrases and phenomena not found in standard dictionaries. Sexist, racist and homophobic terms are permitted as long as their definitions only document the use of such slurs and are not themselves abusive.
That hasn’t really been my experience while perusing definitions… but God bless Urban-Dick for throwing out this disclaimer as a protective mechanism should they be approached by a lawyer( which they define as a “A scum-sucking lowlife, and the lowest form of life on planet Earth next to child molesters. A greedy, dishonest, self-righteous piece-of-crap that convinces you to file a meaningless lawsuit for his own profit. They have a God-given talent for turning common sense truth into a pile of lies and confusion by misleading juries into believing their nonsensical malarkey.”)
Today I visited my favorite uncredible website because the term “cock block” has been something that I’ve been observing, discussing and analyzing quite a bit recently.
Here are the definitions they give me. They give us.
-One who prevents another from getting "play", "poontang", etc.
-Any action that impedes or stalls another's "game", "mack", or "pimp manuver"
-The act of preventing one of your friends the privilege of hiding his Wilson in a womans cooch
Urban Dictionary really wants us to get the essence of subculture words and test boundaries with the names of people in their oddly structured and grammatically incorrect sample sentences:
-Bertha's brother came home early, what a cock block.
-Spicy Ray cock blocked me by telling the bitch I was married with two kids at home.
-Bonni, Joby, Sunil and Sajan goin over to Bino's house.When Bino and his special someone are at the house trying to get it on; thereby stopping any chance of getting any that night!
That is referred to as tag team or Group Cockblocking.
I think we all can agree that the blocking of the cock is “uncool”(especially when being perpetrated by a so-called friend.)
Guys, I know that this term is generally associated with guy on guy block action. But here’s the thing, I have seen girls aggressively trying to throw themselves on men that another estrogen fueled species is clearly connecting with. There’s no real word for this. Woo ha block? Vagaga block? Punani block?
Here is my (gentle) plea to the guys and girls who feel the urge to prevent people from a night of sin or a lifetime of happiness– DON’T COCK/PUNANI BLOCK friends, strangers and imaginary people in your head. It’s the exaggeration of lacking self-assurance, self-control and sophistication. Karma will present itself in your lifetime and bite you in the ass. Bite you in the ass hard.
This really gets me heated and I could go on but my friend is talking to a smokin’ hot guy.His name is Spicy Ray. I must have him. Stat.