February 26th, 2010
I love my cousin Leah. She’s eleven years younger than me, my little kindred spirit soul sister and the epitome of being beautiful inside and out. Just to verify that the universe is working to keep us close (geographically and emotionally), she just moved 5 minutes from me in Brooklyn. I’m very close to her mother Ruth as well and some of my favorite childhood memories were when they came down from New York to visit us in North Carolina.
In order to celebrate our kinship and friendship, we were planning on going to the planetarium at the Museum of Natural History last night. According to the PR, we were to be “transported to the beginning of time and space, experiencing a dramatic, multisensory re-creation of the first moments of the universe.”
So yeah, “a wintry mix” prevented our well intended field trip.
To our credit, we did end up talking a bit about the scientific study of stars, planets, comets and other celestial objects. I hadn’t chatted astronomy since I took the class the summer between between my freshman and sophomore year in college when I lived (with my other bad ass cousin) Elaine in New Orleans. I took some classes at Tulane and my Astronomy class was instructed to meet in a random field one night to observe something interesting happening in the sky. Meeting at a bar beforehand added to the intrigue of our dissection of the universe.
Leah brought up earth’s very real destination to becoming a dead planet. That inspired my mind to shift to Pluto because no other planet has gotten the celestial shaft more than this stellar remnant.
Pluto was the subject of a" Where are They Now?” documentary that was never released due to extreme disinterest. I would like to share and recap.
Pluto was discovered on “So You Want to be the Next Heavenly Body Revolving About the Sun.” It really won the judges over with its gripping rendition of Blue Öyster Cult’s "Astronomy.” On the harp. After it secured its coveted spot as #9 in the galaxy, Pluto had Saturn ring implants and posed for a “Playboy" pictorial. This was frowned upon by the Intergalactic Confederacy as the pictures were considered too hot...like magma.Pluto was stripped of its crown only to be given the lesser than title, “Dwarf Planet.”
Pluto never recovered from this disgrace and its life took a downward spiral. Hoping to find more work on Earth, Pluto relocated to Vegas and worked at a dry cleaners only soon to be arrested for forging a Valium prescription and demanding money from the register at a video store. With a pellet gun.
Shortly thereafter, Pluto had disappeared. According to credible sources(TMZ), it is speculated that Pluto began receiving death threats from the Iranian government and was hiding with Salman Rushdie. They fell in love.
Rushdie’s gentle love and support got Pluto back on track and they are now living in a modest country home in the Catskills. Pluto has a thriving internet business. "Denim for Dogs.”