February 6th, 2010
Today is day 182. This is technically the 1/2 way point of my “365 Day Blog Entry Challenge of Cosmic Angst Through the Eyes of Comedic Insight.”
For 6 months my Hewlett-Packard laptop and I have written in coffee shops, Chinese restaurants, in beds, on couches, in bars, in guys apartments that I’m no longer dating, airplanes, trains, subways, NY, LA, San Francisco, Austin, Charleston, open mics, my grandmother's assisted living, my hair salon, a hospital waiting room when visiting my stepfather, the stoop in front of my apartment, a high security prison. Can you believe that!?...OK that's a lie.It wasn't a Chinese restaurant… it was Japanese.
When I started this project on August 9th, 2009 my intentions were just the hope that this type of endeavor would melt some blocks that were making me feel metaphorically stuck…emotionally, creatively and spiritually. I felt that committing to this for a year would be a tool to get back into my flow, add structure to my days and create a portfolio and a home for what resides inside my brain. Of course there was always that psychic who told me that my life’s purpose was to be a healer and utilize comedy like an alchemist and turn the lead of everyday trials and tribulations into the gold of the spirit. I am not self righteous enough to think that I am constantly successful at this, but it seems like a more intriguing purpose than being an accountant.
I generally don’t know what I’m going to write until the day of. That’s the improviser in me just trusting that the present moment will create the most authentic material. Attempting to keep the writing tight and addressing universal topics (through a comedic perspective) that we all find ironic is the stand up comedian in me. Getting feedback from you all is the “Ok, I admit it. I love the validation” part of me.
I know there are some newer followers who have mentioned that they haven’t had the time to go back and read earlier entries. Similar to “LOST” during its 8 minute overview of the entire series, I will now provide a quick synopsis of the events that have occurred in my blog over the last 6 months.
There have been times that I have been tempted to throw an intervention for myself because I’m a big of fan of crudités, boxes of wine and denial. We learned that tits are powerful and I stopped getting things for free in the winter months when I am covered up. In the summer, the neighborhood scaffolding guy asked for my phone number because I looked like I had a “nice set of personalities.” Choosing a waxer is like picking a lover because both involve an act so intimate which involves endurance, strength, shared sensory experiences and interdependence. My dream is to have a bar called Bar Mitzvah. I’ll have an endless supply of top shelf Manishevitz, patrons will pay in savings bonds and I’ll have a sign behind the bar that says," Hava Nagila Have a Tequila!” I’m convinced that when men go to the bathroom with each other that they joyfully piss on each other while chanting, “God DAMN! I LOVE HAVING A PENIS!!!” I had some reflective days and wrote about being in control of life’s challenges as opposed to allowing them to control us. I conceptualized an ice skating show spectacular entitled “Sure. This is The First Time You Weren’t Able to Maintain an Erection. On Ice.” We learned the power of the blogosphere when someone with the title “Executive in Charge” from Jerry Seinfeld’s production company asked me to take a post down that could be damaging. I did not and wrote a blog entitled “Executive in Charge of Myself.”: http://jacquelinekabat.blogspot.com/2009/12/day-125-executive-in-charge-of-myself.html. You now know that I intend to start a line called Jax's Baby Doo-Rags. For babies. In baby gangs. I tested your knowledge in determining if someone was a Jew, not-a-Jew or Canadian. I shared Jax’s Guidelines For Using Time-Outs With Adults. I admitted to my readers that I feel like I live inside a Broadway musical because I once dated a guy whose last name was Of The Opera..first name, Phantom, I have an usher in my apartment who escorts me to my furniture and I once had a cat that could sing, dance and did a gripping rendition of the song “Memories.” She went on to have a promising film career.. then got involved with the Taco Bell dog and died from a chimichanga overdose. We learned that on Christmas, Moses took Jesus to T.G.I Fridays for his birthday. I created a 12-Step program for hipsters do de-hipsterize. We compared PMS to a tornado, learned how to make love while conscious, read a fairytale entitled “The Serotonin That Lost Its Way” and went inside a purse and learned that our keys are gay.
We’re in this together and oh…the places we’ve gone.
Thank you for reading and please join me for another 6 months for some flow, some angst, some laughs and(hopefully) lending a voice to my interpretation of the experiences that we’re sharing.