Thursday, February 11, 2010

Day 187 - Jax’s Fun Pass. For Things. That are Fun.

February 11th, 2010

Since it seems as if I need to be riding the subway quite a bit today, I purchased a 1 Day Unlimited card, affectionately referred to as “The Fun Pass”. You know what? So far….not so fun. If you’re going to throw in an adjective that suggests entertainment,amusement and enjoyment, I need to see more follow through. I’m not even picky as to how the New York Transit System applies this so called fun promise. I just need to see them trying. Some suggestions: A clown making animal balloons. A hot tub on the A train. I’d even settle for a rumble between a mariachi band and some homeless preachers. You said Fun Pass. Prove it. Come on.

I did some extensive research (in the past 15 minutes) and discovered a few other places that offer these passes of fun that we need to discuss.

Guests on a Carnival Cruise ship can register for a Fun Pass that claims to expedite the check-in process by registering for the cruise in advance, while also satisfying Department of Homeland Security requirements. OK. Just the fact that Fun Pass and Homeland Security are in the same sentence is red flag #1. Not to knock a giant boat once promoted by a singing KathyLee Gifford, but it seems as if cruises have turned into death traps. People disappear. A lot. Under suspicious circumstances. I’m going to start distributing Jax’s Not-So Fun Pass that guarantees passengers seasickness, weigh gain from the all you can eat midnight buffet on the lido deck and death. Bonus that your body will be lost at sea and never recovered!

The NMRA is The National Roads and Motorists' Association that offers a single day entry to Sea World, Warner Bros. Movie World and Wet n’ Wild Water World in Los Angeles . That’s cute. Right? Well for shits and giggles let’s take away the “M” and then we have ourselves The NRA Fun Pass. This gives me more to work with as I do feel a National Rifle Association Fun Pass would encourage more kids and parents to enjoy the lighthearted good times of guns …as a family.

Finally,Wahooz Fun Zone in Meridian, Idaho offers a fun pass that allows us UNLIMITED use of:
Laser tag, miniature golf, go-karts, bumper boats, Kiddie Cove and 10 arcade tokens. You might be saying, “Jax, Kiddie Cove sounds awesome! But Idaho?” Don’t judge too soon readers. I found out a few facts that make Idaho bearable enough so we can have the time of our lives at Wahooz Fun Zone.

1)They have a convincing mission statement: “Wahooz Family Fun Zone creates an EXPECTATION of EXCELLENCE among crew members, guests, and the community by providing the highest quality service that always EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS.“

2)Wahooz Family Fun is RIGHT next door to Roaring Springs Waterpark !

3) Idaho has the country’s lowest gonorrhea rate! So when you leave Wahooz Family Fun, your Fun Pass guarantees that you can whore around Idaho. Gonorrhea free! (This offer does not apply to syphilis, herpes and genital warts.)

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