September 22, 2009
Picking a font is like picking a mate. Arial is super sexy. Looks good in Bold and Italics. But I also dig Times Roman. More reliable. A total sweetheart.
Here’s the deal. I have an objection to the the surplus of symbols and expressions intended to set the tone to our writing. If we want to feel the same way as the person next to us, let’s go see a mediocre summer Blockbuster movie about communism. I feel that all authentic expression being oozed out to the universe through any artistic vehicle should allow the recipient to make his or her own interpretation. It seems a bit presumptuous to assume that what I write or perform would reach everyone in the same way. If this happens, I’m not stretching myself enough.
An example if you will: Let’s take 2 people's response to viewing the Mona Lisa at Musée du Louvre:
Person A - This masterpiece really defines Italian renaissance work with its sfumato technique, realistic portrayal, chiaroscuro, no excessive detail, simple but real background, serenity and idealism.
Person B - She’s totally following me with her eyes. Nice.
Both answers are fine. Feelings were felt, both peep A & B had a reaction and I imagine that Leonardo da Vinci would have given himself an internal high-five.
Emoticons, the newest mood indicating symbol on the literature scene, scare me. Where is the rest of their body? I assume they’re having sex and procreating because there seems to be an overflow of them these days. If a smiley faced emoticon were to breed with a frowning face , the baby emoticon would clearly be born with a neutral expression. Did you read about the emoticon rape trial where the mischievous angry face said that the winking face was asking for it?
Punctuations have been trying to sway our interpretation since we’ve been hooked on phonics . This sassy line dot combo was created to induce enthusiasm. Pompous. This bugs me and I lashed out when a friend had me proofread a speech. I added exclamation points to the end of every sentence. It wasn’t well received. He said it was totally inappropriate for a eulogy.
I’ve conceptualized my next creative project: “Punctuation!” the movie. This is who I’ve casted so far:
– Exclamation Point -Jim Carey or Richard Simmons
– Quotation Marks –The Olsen or Doublemint Twins
–Period –Tom Hanks – He’s reliable. Gets the jobs done.
– Question Mark – -Geraldo Rivera. Even despicable journalists ask questions. His frightening looks and demeanor make for the perfect antagonist.
– Semi Colon (which I don’t really understand)–Al Roker – Because I don’t know why he has a career.
The Tag line: “In a time when run on sentences were threatening to take over the world as we know it..only a group of symbols that separate words into sentences, clauses, and phrases could save our existence. DreamWorks Pictures present: PUNCTATION!”
This film would be a huge hit and inspire the spectacular, “Punctuation on Ice”.
Ultimately there would be the sequel, “Punctuation VS Emoticon”. In the final climatic scene, the dueling symbols would be convinced to harmoniously work together and save sentence structure by Sir Asterisk, the Yoda of the symbol world.
I smell Oscar