September 12th, 2009
For many years, I was the only female in my comedy improv troupe. While enjoying my role as cool chick/den mother, there was one time when I would feel incredibly left out. It was quite challenging and lonely for me when the guys would all go to the men’s bathroom together. Leaving me. Alone and confused. Needing to be held. 1 Bonus - I had the time to imagine what really goes on in the mysterious room where the testosterone driven individuals go to relieve. Please join me if you will.
Cast of Characters
TROY– Handsome African American man with a heart of gold
BENNETT – Tall hippie-esque guitar playing sweetheart
KENNY – Gay. Just really gay
LOCATION – MEN’S BATHROOM(IN’S JAX’S HEAD)
SCENARIO 1
(3 guys standing in a line at the urinals…peeing)
Troy
Jax totally doesn’t have a penis
Kenny
How does she get out of bed in the morning?
Bennett
God DAMN! I LOVE HAVING A PENIS!!!
ALL
(Start joyfully peeing on each other)
PENIS! PENIS! PENIS….etc…
SCENARIO 2
(Standing in a line peeing)
Bennett
..and that’s how the pyramids in Egypt were built, who shot Kennedy and how the common cold is cured
Kenny
Wow…what an informative bathroom break that Jax will never be included in because she doesn’t have a penis
Troy
God DAMN! I LOVE HAVING A PENIS!!!
ALL
(Start joyfully peeing on each other)
PENIS! PENIS! PENIS….etc…
SCENARIO 3
(Standing in a line peeing)
Bennett
Kenny. Man. Um. I have a “friend” who wants to know some of the best gay hangouts in New York. Any suggestions for me..I mean my friend?
Troy
Yeah..I also have a “friend” who wanted to know where he can go to explore his gayness
Kenny
Sure. I can give you some suggestions. But before I do.. I need to know if “your friend” loves having a penis because …God DAMN! I LOVE HAVING A PENIS!!!
ALL
(Start joyfully peeing on each other)
PENIS! PENIS! PENIS….etc…
THE END
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In my freshman year of college, my a cappella group performed a skit about mens bathrooms. It was quite the penis fest. It went like this.
ReplyDeleteChad enters bathroom. There are five urinals, and he picks the one on the far right.
Larry enters bathroom. He scans over the urination stations briefly before mounting the urinal right next to chat.
Both men look directly forward, awkwardly. Then larry looks directly at chad's face. Chad tries not to look back, awkwardly.
Larry, moves his gaze, this time staring down at Chad's unit.
Larry-"That's a nice piece!"
Chad, awkwardly, "uh....thanks I guess..." (averting his eyes).
Larry-"Mind if I sing to it?"
Chad-"What!?!?"
Larry, gets down on one knee, clears his throat, and starts singing "O Sole Mio."
Then a random man walks in, sees what's happening, and starts yelling, "PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS."
End Scene
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Okay, that last part isn't true. The rest is. I always knew it needed a different ending:)