November 7th, 2009
If A = B and B=C then A=C. Impressed? Oh you want to one up me with breaking down the Pythagorean Theorem. Please. Who doesn’t know that in any right triangle, the area of the square whose side is the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the areas of the squares whose sides are the two legs? I just touché’d myself. Oh…Don’t. Don’t you dare go Binomial Theorem on my ass with your (a + b)5 = a5 + 5a4b + 10a3b2 + 10a2b3 + 5ab4 + b5. Sigh.. I have grown tired of our math-off. Wanna memorize the periodic table? You remind me of something that rhymes with boron.
Readers, this is the first time that I have revisited math and science since wondering how these subjects would benefit me in my more mature years. My high school teachers should have just told me that I would revisit these subjects on day 91 of my 365 day blog entry challenge. There are so many classes that should have been part of our budding mind and body years. I certainly could have gained useful insight with classes like Managing Personal Finances, How Men and Women Are Different and How Hot Tubbing Can Result in Pregnancy.
I am opening my own school. Jax High School. It’s a magnet school and our mascot is the centaur. I have dedicated my time and effort to create a curriculum that will serve graduates in realistic real life matters.
Many of you felt that I was onto something and helped me with handy subject matters that teens are lacking in our current system. Let’s take a look at a sample class schedule at JHS:
1st Period - Drinking on a College Level/Drug Use on a Rock Star Level
2nd Period - How to Pick up Women That Will Always Be Out of Your League
3rd Period -Oral Sex Ed/G-spot Exploration
4th Period - How to Avoid Douche Bags and Assholes
5th Period - Cultivating Marijuana for Fun and Profit
6th Period - How to be a Bitch
7th Period - How to Mix the Appropriate Amount of Alcohol with Painkillers
8th Period - Understanding That a College Diploma is Just a Piece of Paper and You Will Probably Still End Up in a Shitty Low Paying Job While Corporate America Shits on Your Sorry Ass.