November 17th, 2009
Why do we hang on to things, people, places, happiness, good and bad memories, resentment, guilt and my clock radio that I’ve had since I was seven years old?
Why? Because some of the above are so joyous that they give our life meaning, peace and comfort. Don’t let them slip away. On the flip side, some of these cling-ons only serve as distractions and are quite simply, familiar. In fact, they have the capacity to freeze and shutdown our life-force. Be careful. We must let go. Seem too heavy? Well my blog is a safe place and I will share with you some hardcore Jax vulnerability. Hi. I’m Jacqueline..and I am making a commitment to let go. I’m not speaking of one particular scenario. As adults, we become the sum of our experiences and our very nature is composed of the good that can carry us through and the negative that blocks our contentment that life is meant to bring.
Therefore, it is my mission to let go of what is no longer serving me and polluting my mental space. I challenge you to do the same. Yeah, it might not be pretty and let’s face it, this dialogue is seldom uttered:
You: So Jax, what are ya gonna do today?
Me: Well you, I'm thinking of hitting a yoga class, prepare for my show later and then consciously face head on all the unpleasantries that I’ve been avoiding.
You: Sounds fun!
Me: Sure does! Better yet, there’s a good chance that people might get hurt. Also, I’m really looking forward to walking straight into some of my own pain!
You: Great Jax! I’ve always envied how you can organize your day.
Perhaps the only way to step up to the plate and face all that is holding us back is to shift our interpretation of fear itself. A few years ago, life was a little shaky and a very wise friend of mine explained the “cellophane analogy” to me. Sure, it might seem odd to use what we wrap leftovers in as a metaphor..but I find some poignancy in it. He explained that experiencing pain should be viewed positively because that very discomfort is the only catalyst for true growth. Imagine trying to push through a piece of cellophane. Initially, all we meet is resistance. If we don’t give up, we break the barrier, there is no more pressure..and we are free.
Although I am an idealist..I'm a realist as well. If we tend to judge people that we care about and ourselves for holding on, perhaps we need to understand that we’re all doing the best we can. Letting go is directly linked to forgiveness of others. Forgiveness of ourselves. Everyone deserves to let go on their own time. Besides if all was forgiven at record speed, we’d be living in a boring Utopian society where psychotherapists, self help gurus and reality television stars would be out of business.
So how do we troubleshoot pain that might consume us in the future? If I knew the answer, I'd be much richer than I am now. However, I feel that being honest with people and ourselves from the beginning(even if uncomfortable) is a good place to start.
As Larry David said in a recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, “Hi, I'm Larry David, and I enjoy wearing women's underwear.”