January 21st, 2010
On day 158 of my 365 day blog challenge, I wrote an entry called “Jew, Not-a-Jew or Canadian?”. I gave you scenarios and asked you which of these three categories the examples fell under. http://jacquelinekabat.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-158-jew-not-jew-or-canadian.html. Today I bring to you another list to test your knowledge of 3 interchangeable people: Bill O’Reilly, Kanye West and Mother Teresa. I have a sitcom in the works starring these three public figures that involves them having crazy shenanigans in a deluxe apartment in the sky, at a local dive bar and..oh yes... in the bedroom. Stay tuned. In the meantime, peruse the list below and I challenge you to determine if the following examples would be that of Bill O’Reilly, Kanye West or Mother Teresa.
•You say, “Can’t we give Chris Brown a break?…. O.J. Simpson, amazing. Is he not? What he did, when he did, what he did. Was he not amazing though?”
•You scream at children of 9/11 victims.
•You convert an unused Hindu temple into Kalighat Home for the dying.
•During a telethon for Hurricane Katrina, you perplex Mike Myers and America with the comment, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”
•You want people to boycott Pepsi when they use Ludacris as a spokesperson because you think his lyrics are"Degrading to women". As a “moral crusader”, you are the same person who is hit with a sexual harassment suit for failed attempts at dirty talk .You want to rub "falafel" on your producer's womanly parts. That’s just insulting to Mediterranean food. In an interesting turn of events, falafel boycotts you.
•You are awarded the Noble Prize for Peace for your struggle to overcome poverty and remove the sorrow and suffering from society.
•Taylor Swift sends you a thank you note for being a blessing in disguise that catapulted her career into the stratosphere. After your self righteous outburst, middle aged Midwestern women, who never heard of Ms. Swift, have been heard saying, “I hope Taylor is OK. She’s been like a daughter to me.” Then they arrange their garden gnomes.
•You receive a divine message, possibly an intuition, after which you decide to devote your life towards the betterment of society.
•You have a meltdown and scream, "Fuck it, we'll do it live." Then tear off your microphone and probably scream something totally unrelated like “Gay marriage is ruining the country!"