Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Day 165 - Napping Championship

January 20th, 2010

I asked my blog readers:

Besides jobs, kids and that responsibility stuff...what really gets you out of bed in the morning?

Many replied that they would have no reason to leave the cozy safe haven of their high thread count sheets and plush-riffic down comforter if it weren’t for the calling of nature.

Some other answers:

I've run out of change for the vibrating bed - John Kosciusko

Regularity - Thomas Anthony

My hatred of warmth and comfort - Gabe Fonorow

The feeling of the warm sun...around noonish...- Brian Baron

Your blog . . .OK - and the gym too! - Lance Hoffman

The sound of my should-be-dead cat barfing on the new carpet - Eric Bergson

The service of my Lord. - David Forman Katz

I didn't know there was anything else- Neil Hyman

A dead hooker, or an unpaid hooker- Zachary B Atkinson

They say (and never question the wisdom of “they”) that the key to living a life with passion is to find that one thing worth getting up in the morning for. In my case, it generally has something to do with some overpriced caffeinated beverage that I look forward to the night before. But I do agree to live a life of passion equals a life of purpose. I’m lucky since I'm certain that committing fourteen years of my life to being involved in comedy in some way, shape or form is the path that I have to be on. Improv, sketch, standup, hosting, blogging and teaching comedy hasn’t made me rich (yet)… but it makes me whole.

BUT...what if hiding under the covers IS your passion because you’re training for a professional napping competition and are committed to making it to state? I know you’re out there. Very common population. Seldom discussed. If you become too happy and your life starts to become worth getting out of bed for, then you’re not getting those 18 hours of sleep that is key training for your upcoming napping championship event. This will piss your Russian napping coach off . His name is Vladimirovich and has anger issues to begin with.Your passion for life needs to be immediately replaced with depression, self-loathing and delusional thinking in order for you to return to your excessive sleep training program.

Jax’s advice: Immediately lose interest in “this passion” that is giving your life meaning during your waking hours and get back on track to becoming the world napping champion. Unless of course you have a reputable passion for hookers. Dead or unpaid. Because..that’ awesome.

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