January 7th, 2010
Announcer - Are you a baby in a baby gang?
Babies – Yes!
Announcer – Do other babies make fun of you when you’re doing what you love most… bank robbery, looting, burglary and murder?
Babies – Yes!
Announcer – That’s because you’re not wearing a Jax’s Baby Doo-Rag. For babies. In baby gangs. This distinctive accessory will increase your confidence and fashion sense so you can rediscover the joy that you get from baby extortion. Jax’s Baby Doo-Rags are made to fit the fine definition and contours of your baby head. Plus, we offer a variety of colors: Paisley. Butter. Mother of Pearl. If you’re in a French baby gang… we’ll even provide you with a beret. And anti-Semitism. Any unaffiliated individual disrespecting your style of choice is grounds for a violent retaliation.
Announcer – Listen to what babies are saying about Jax’s Baby Doo-Rags...
Tyler – When I’m cruising the streets in my stroller wearing Jax’s Baby Doo-Rag…it sends a message.
Hailey – Jax’s Baby Doo-Rag has never made drug trafficking look so good! It’s the perfect complement to my baby nunchucks.
Aiden – If only I had my Jax’s Baby Doo-Rag when I was getting circumcised. I would have had the courage to fight back. That savage.
Announcer - When you purchase your Jax’s Baby Doo-Rag, you’ll be given one complementary session at a tattoo parlor to get a tattoo that says, “God damn.. I love my Jax’s Baby Doo-Rag.” This will gain you respect within your baby gang and you’ll be marked as a member for life. So order now. Let the world know that even though you’re only ten pounds, drool and have poor motor skills..you will not be messed with because you’re wearing Jax's Baby Doo-Rag. For Babies. In Baby Gangs.