January 13th, 2010
My friend Andrew seems to have a hard time deciphering if a person is a Jew, Not-a-Jew or Canadian. It occurred to me that he might not be alone in his inability to decode one’s defining classification. Let’ face it…if we don’t know which of these categories that one belongs..we aren’t in the position to stereotype. And that’s just wrong. And I'm a Jew.
I have created a questionnaire for you to determine if the following fall under the umbrella of Jew, Not-a-Jew or Canadian. If you get one incorrect, you should consider taking my online class at the barely accredited University of Phoenix called “There is No Stereotype Myth: Conventional, Formulaic and Oversimplified Conceptions to Hone your Generalization Skills”. In the comment section, please submit if the following examples would be the actions of a Jew, Not-a-Jew or Canadian.
1) You are handy.
2) You get turned on thinking about Sarah Palin and Cindy McCain mud wrestling.
3) You take the money that you don’t spend on health insurance and purchase Wayne Gretzky's tooth on eBay.
4) You never have offered to help a friend move.
5) You have a suspicion that you might be 1/16th Cherokee.
6) You can write your name with your pee in the snow. All year.
7) Boys in this group have their privates assaulted by an old man with a knife 8 days after their birth. Friends and family celebrate the savage mutilation with bagels, whitefish and strudel.
8) You proudly sew your country's flag on your backpack.
9) You make casseroles. With Corn Flakes
10) You and your friends devour a 100 piece sushi platter in less than 90 seconds.
11) At a Chinese restaurant, you order your own dishes, don’t share and have leftovers
12) You own the Alex Trebek swimsuit calendar.