January 9th, 2010
Yesterday I tapped into how the ancient Greek philosophers interpreted the “essence” of soul, my hopes that my ethical behavior would give my soul a good report card and then asked you to tell me the color of your soul.
I'm still on a soul kick. My friend told me that people who don't t appreciate the movie “Avatar” and the song "Empire State of Mind" are dead inside. This inspired me to consider other signs that indicate that one possesses a soul of darkness and in desperate need of a tune up:
-You give someone a decaf coffee when they‘ve asked for regular.
-You brag about finding Waldo. We don’t care. He’s a dick.
-You put Disney movies in the vault.
-You watch, work for or have any type of appreciation for Fox News.
-You’re a narc with a cocaine addiction.
-You’re a germaphobe who doesn’t shower enough.
-You’re a Holocaust denier.
-You need to read directions on how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Peanut-Butter-and-Jelly-Sandwich
-You do the five stages of grief in the opposite order: Acceptance, Depression, Bargaining, Anger and Denial.
-You’re Clippy the cartwheeling Microsoft Word paperclip who possesses an unjustified sense of entitlement.
-You’re the very fertile Elisabeth Hasselbeck who won’t stop breeding.
-You’re a sex therapist. And a virgin
-You groom standard poodles.
-You conceptualized the movie “Angel” that came out in 1984. Tagline: “High School Honor Student by Day. Hollywood Hooker by Night.”
-You’re a thin woman who complains about being fat.
-You’re a Benihana chef who doesn’t know how to make tin foil swans for leftovers.
-You think your falsetto can be compared to Barry Gibb and Daryl Hall.