August 4th, 2010
Two days ago, on day 358, "Catered Camping. Good For the Soul"
( http://jacquelinekabat.blogspot.com/2010/08/day-358-catered-camping-good-for-soul.html), I explained that I had a near perfect weekend in the wilderness with some of my favorite people. I urged you all to take a similar getaway and shared some essential ingredients that must be included in your adventure.
One necessity: Bill. I wrote, "We stayed at a campsite in Bear Mountain operated by Bill. If you ask him what his last name is, his response will be, 'Not important.' He looked like Santa Clause's alternative universe twin with more pot belly and no jeer. 73 year old sketchy Santa shared a little about himself. 'I got this far by being mean.'"
I didn't share with Bill that I pride myself in striving to be conscious, creative and compassionate. Basically, nice. I feel that I live these intentions most of the time...and when I don't, I've found that I've gotten better(not perfect yet) at constructive criticism.
But Bill seemed happy...in a bitter lonely geriatric kinda way. After all, he does own a campsite...the most respected outdoor career(closely followed by large animal manure inspector and the guy who draws chalk outlines on pavement.)
I had a dream last night(in black and white) and Bill sauntered over to me and handed me a pamphlet: "How to be Mean - Live the Life You Want..But Let's Face It...Are Never Gonna Get".
- Use your temper. You know who has chutzpah? You do.
- If people have inconvenienced you, let them know in a childish manner. Children are cute.
- Don't put yourself in another person's shoes.Toothbrushes should be shared..not shoes. Ew.
- Interrupt people when they're speaking. You're a words savant. With a BA in English. And a Masters Degree in Lowbrow Insults.
- Fighting fairly is boring. When arguing with another person, don't stick to the subject, be long winded and bring up unrelated issues that happened when Pluto was still a planet.
To my credit, I realized that I was reading garbage after being saved by that well intended peaceful old Native American man (with a tear in his eye) who is always dream crashing. He convinced me to continue to strive to live righteously. Then we went to pick up litter.
I wanted to return the pamphlet to Bill... but he had walked away. To kill a kitten.