August 11th, 2009
I’m sitting at Connecticut Muffin Coffee Shop with my friend Jill and the rest of the self employed or out of work Brooklynites. I ‘m thinking of telling the manager that the loud milk frothing machine is absolutely unacceptable in the work environment. I could go on about all the hipsters with Apple computers sitting in Starbucks across the nation but it’s been done. A lot of people sit in coffee shops. Working. Blah blah blah. We get it.
What has inspired me is my recent trip to the bathroom. And by recent I mean two minutes ago. I did wash my hands. No worries, I am above bathroom humor. Most of the time. Where am I going with this you might ask? What journey are we going to take together? In order to get to the WC, I had to ask the latte maker for the key that happened to be attached to a spoon as long as my arm. This was a shame because there is nothing I like to do more than steal bathroom keys. Well, in my alternative universe at least. In that world, I have accumulated the most impressive and magical bathroom key collection that ever was and will be. They are connected to silverware, plungers..homeless people. Screw The Louvre and Graceland. My bathroom key collection will be the hottest destination spot next to Neverland Ranch. It will inspire a magazine called “Bathroom Key Enthusiast.” I see it. I feel it. I will manifest this. Basically, I’ll “The Secret” the hell out of this.
Oh Glorious bathroom key. You will forever be attached to my heart.