Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Day 377 - Ask Jax - Part 32

November 24th, 2010

This is the 32nd installment of my "Ask Jax" series. I'm open to answering ANY of your pressing inquiries with little to no thought, accuracy and sensitivity.

What is the cheapest airline ticket I can buy that will let me get a nice pat down with no intention of ever getting on the flight? - Jason Maxham, Chicago, IL

Jax’s Answer – US "I Will Violate You in Ways That Will Lead to Shame and Confusion" Air

Is the sparrow better in Istanbul near the fire? – Paul Hale, Brooklyn, NY

Jax’s Answer. – If I had a nickel for every time I was asked this question, I’d have 5 cents. The sparrow is absolutely NOT better in Istanbul near the fire. These plump brown-grey birds make the mistake of nesting in buildings in large cities and Istanbul is the 5th largest city in the world with a population of 12.8 million. Sparrow roasting on an open fire (which is also a hit Turkish holiday song) is considered a delicacy in this Far East metropolis. Note to readers. Shall you decided to travel to Istanbul and treat yourself to this succulent dish, I suggest topping it with some A-1 Steak Sauce and a sprig of parsley.

What was Willis talking about? - Dan Neveloff, New York, NY

Jax’s Answer – Seldom discussed was the fact that Willis adhered to the doctrine of opposition to the social and political establishment. So, as it turns out, Willis was talking about Anti establishmentarianism. He was simply trying to explain that he viewed our nation's power structure as corrupt, exploitative and repressive. Also...sometimes, he was talking about bacon.

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