November 30th, 2009
Yesterday I was walking with my mom on the divinely sunny beach of Sullivan's Island. This is a private residential community located just north of Charleston, South Carolina. At low tide, the beach is wide and the sand is soft. It would seem like the perfect opportunity to discuss feminine products. We did not. Today I’m back in New York where the weather is Satan. On a bad day. I will not let the gray, cold and damp dampen my spirits. These are the days where we have to force ourselves from under the cocoon of our down comforter and be creative as to how to manufacture our own sunshine. Using a Bunsen burner, a straw and piece of felt, I conducted a very unscientific study to discover what can effectively shift our mood on days like this. Below are 10 proven ways to keep spirits in line when the weather is being a dick.
1) Spray on an entire bottle of Patchouli and then go to a Young Republican's meeting. Remove all processed food and offer them green tea.
2) Tell the Verizon people that you want to replace your "Friends and Family Plan" to the "Mild Acquaintances and Nemesis Plan".
3 )Listen to the song "Birthday Sex" with your grandparents. Tell them its about the 1917 Russian Revolution that lead to civil war and the creation of a communist government.
4) Give someone a pot brownie who doesn’t know it’s been "tainted" with herb. Wait 10-15 minutes. Then, just watch them.
5) Repeat to yourself 10 times: "It is a good thing that I was not a young adult in the early 80’s because I’m pretty certain that I would have feathered hair and a major coke addiction." This one might just apply to me.
6) Sculpt Lionel Ritchie’s head. The gheri curl is challenging..but if you dream it..you can do it.
7) Use crime scene tape as a jump rope
8) JCrew is carrying onesies for adults. Go try one on.
9) Make an oil painting(on canvas) of a bird flying into Fabio’s face on a roller coaster
10) This last suggestion is guaranteed to lift your spirits on an inclement day. Do something really intimate...that involves strength, endurance, shared sensory experiences and interdependence. Like doubles figure skating
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Day 113 - Alternative Universe Lexie
November 29th, 2009
My mom has a family of dachshunds that run around the house like a centipede. Will the father and Sam the son are sweethearts. Lexie the mother could use a relaxant. She loves my mom. All 7 pounds of her is always attempting to protect my mother. Oh, you think that all dogs love you? She'll bite you. She bites babies. Cute babies. There was a short stint(5-10 minutes in 2002) where she liked my brother Scott. If they were to procreate..they would have had a litter of Scottschunds. But their love was short lived and my brother went on to make babies with someone who wasn't a domesticated form of a wolf.
I woke up this morning in my mother's house to Lexie wanting to get in bed with me. This bitch(literally and figuratively) has never requested a Jax cuddle in ten years. I went against my comfort zone, let her join me on the bed and there was no aggression. She was still super uptight and has the physicality of having a dog treat stuck up her ass. But, to her credit, she was doing the best that she could. I recognized that. I attempted a few self portraits with the Blackberry camera to prove that we were connecting. Our union only lasted a few minutes and chances are that she will try to attack me later..but that will never take away from those few minutes of canoodling with alternative universe Lexie.
That moment would never have happened if we didn't act counter intuitively to every instinct ingrained in our being.
Since I think anything and everything in life is synonymous to comedy improv, I have included an article that I was featured in about the healing power of comedy improvisation from "Body and Soul Magazine's" October 2007 issue. It's one of those Martha Stewart magazines which is interesting because she could benefit from lightening up. Like Lexie.
"Body and Soul Magazine"
Learn to Think on Your Feet
By Terri Trespicio
Your boss interrupts your presentation with a question you hadn't considered. A spontaneous debate springs up at a family gathering. You're asked to address a touchy issue with a mutual friend. Sure, your life seems scheduled on paper. But no matter how much you plan, every day brings unforeseen situations that can catch you off-guard -- and leave you feeling tongue-tied.
You can't prepare for those surprising moments (like when a friend asks you point-blank whether you think she should elope), but you can improve your ability to handle them. And who better to ask for think-on-your-feet tips than the people who do it for a living? Unlike actors in a traditional play, improvisational performers step out onto the stage with no scripted lines, no costumes, no set. With little more than gut instinct, they rely on quick thinking, teamwork, and a few audience suggestions to create a compelling show. "Improv simply means unscripted performance, which is essentially what our lives are," says writer, director, and improvisational performer and coach Jacqueline Kabat. "You may have a vague idea of what your day may bring you. But let's face it, you never can be too sure."
The same skills that serve improv actors so well -- listening, picking up on cues, approaching interactions positively -- can pay off in your day-to-day life, too. We gathered the best insider advice from Kabat and seasoned performer Matt Chapuran, and then we included real-life scenarios from career coach Maggie Mistal, host of "Making a Living" on Martha Stewart Living Radio, Sirius 112. Using their strategies, you'll meet the unpredictable situations of everyday life with aplomb. And who knows? You may even get a laugh or two.
Rule 1
Let the Scene Unfold
Because it's not scripted, the success of an improv show depends wholly on honest, immediate reaction to the present moment. This can be hard if the improv actors need for control kicks in-an impulse that can magnify stress and, ultimately, work against you."In improv, we call it steering the scene, " says Kabat. "When one person attempts to control everything that happens, it signifies a distrust for his fellow players." Onstage or off, the only thing you can really control is your response-and that comes with focusing on what the other person is saying. The more clearly you tune in to the natural unfolding of the conversation, the better off you'll be in moving the discourse forward.
Try it: Stay in the moment. When you're in the middle of a serious discussion (or even a not-so-serious one), resist scripting the conversation; let go of control, focus on the other person, and then on your honest response. For instance, say you're at a party and you meet someone new. Eager to come across as witty and appealing, you may get so caught up in what you'll say next that you miss what the other person is saying. Instead, practice giving him or her your full attention.
Rule 2
Make the other guy look good
Want to know one of the biggest mistakes improv actors can make? It's sabotaging collaboration by trying to be the star. What works far better for everyone, including you, says Kabat, is to make others look good. "I call it putting spirit over ego. Rather than try to be the funniest or smartest performer, I tell them to respond to the other person as truthfully as possible," she says. "Stealing the scene tends to compromise the effectiveness of the show-not to mention make your partner uncomfortable."
Translated into real life, Mistal says that we often operate under the assumption that if we make someone else look good, we will then look bad by comparison-and, in turn, by making someone else look bad, we come off smelling like roses. In fact, just the opposite occurs. "Passing blame as a way of saving face works in reverse," she says. "People never forget when they were thrown under the bus."
Try it: Spread good gossip. Find opportunities not just to praise people directly and publicly, but to share their gifts, skills, or accomplishments with others. In so doing, you become the bearer of good news-and you also come off as the kind of person who's big enough to acknowledge and appreciate others' efforts and abilities.
Rule 3
Trust your gut
In an effort to make valuable contributions, we often suppress our first and best instinct. "We tend to put our own ideas down as too obvious or stupid -- like if it's my idea, it mustn't be very good," says Chapuran. "This is often not the case at all." In improv, unique ideas don't come from trying harder, he says; they emerge naturally. "You don't have to out-unique yourself," he says. "I've wasted time and good ideas trying to be funnier, and I didn't have to."
Mistal agrees that we tend to live under the impression that success is achieved only through sweat and hard work. "If anything, the fact that something comes easily to you could be a sign that it's the right thing," she says. "When you get into the flow and rhythm of what you're meant to be doing, it comes naturally." It shouldn't have to be a struggle.
Try it: Go with it. Don't deep-six your first idea just because it came to you quickly and effortlessly. Instead of negating it, run with it and see where it takes you. Try to resist the notion that you need to be super smart or creative every single time you open your mouth, says Chapuran. "You would be surprised at how sometimes simply stating the obvious is the most valuable thing you can do."
My mom has a family of dachshunds that run around the house like a centipede. Will the father and Sam the son are sweethearts. Lexie the mother could use a relaxant. She loves my mom. All 7 pounds of her is always attempting to protect my mother. Oh, you think that all dogs love you? She'll bite you. She bites babies. Cute babies. There was a short stint(5-10 minutes in 2002) where she liked my brother Scott. If they were to procreate..they would have had a litter of Scottschunds. But their love was short lived and my brother went on to make babies with someone who wasn't a domesticated form of a wolf.
I woke up this morning in my mother's house to Lexie wanting to get in bed with me. This bitch(literally and figuratively) has never requested a Jax cuddle in ten years. I went against my comfort zone, let her join me on the bed and there was no aggression. She was still super uptight and has the physicality of having a dog treat stuck up her ass. But, to her credit, she was doing the best that she could. I recognized that. I attempted a few self portraits with the Blackberry camera to prove that we were connecting. Our union only lasted a few minutes and chances are that she will try to attack me later..but that will never take away from those few minutes of canoodling with alternative universe Lexie.
That moment would never have happened if we didn't act counter intuitively to every instinct ingrained in our being.
Since I think anything and everything in life is synonymous to comedy improv, I have included an article that I was featured in about the healing power of comedy improvisation from "Body and Soul Magazine's" October 2007 issue. It's one of those Martha Stewart magazines which is interesting because she could benefit from lightening up. Like Lexie.
"Body and Soul Magazine"
Learn to Think on Your Feet
By Terri Trespicio
Your boss interrupts your presentation with a question you hadn't considered. A spontaneous debate springs up at a family gathering. You're asked to address a touchy issue with a mutual friend. Sure, your life seems scheduled on paper. But no matter how much you plan, every day brings unforeseen situations that can catch you off-guard -- and leave you feeling tongue-tied.
You can't prepare for those surprising moments (like when a friend asks you point-blank whether you think she should elope), but you can improve your ability to handle them. And who better to ask for think-on-your-feet tips than the people who do it for a living? Unlike actors in a traditional play, improvisational performers step out onto the stage with no scripted lines, no costumes, no set. With little more than gut instinct, they rely on quick thinking, teamwork, and a few audience suggestions to create a compelling show. "Improv simply means unscripted performance, which is essentially what our lives are," says writer, director, and improvisational performer and coach Jacqueline Kabat. "You may have a vague idea of what your day may bring you. But let's face it, you never can be too sure."
The same skills that serve improv actors so well -- listening, picking up on cues, approaching interactions positively -- can pay off in your day-to-day life, too. We gathered the best insider advice from Kabat and seasoned performer Matt Chapuran, and then we included real-life scenarios from career coach Maggie Mistal, host of "Making a Living" on Martha Stewart Living Radio, Sirius 112. Using their strategies, you'll meet the unpredictable situations of everyday life with aplomb. And who knows? You may even get a laugh or two.
Rule 1
Let the Scene Unfold
Because it's not scripted, the success of an improv show depends wholly on honest, immediate reaction to the present moment. This can be hard if the improv actors need for control kicks in-an impulse that can magnify stress and, ultimately, work against you."In improv, we call it steering the scene, " says Kabat. "When one person attempts to control everything that happens, it signifies a distrust for his fellow players." Onstage or off, the only thing you can really control is your response-and that comes with focusing on what the other person is saying. The more clearly you tune in to the natural unfolding of the conversation, the better off you'll be in moving the discourse forward.
Try it: Stay in the moment. When you're in the middle of a serious discussion (or even a not-so-serious one), resist scripting the conversation; let go of control, focus on the other person, and then on your honest response. For instance, say you're at a party and you meet someone new. Eager to come across as witty and appealing, you may get so caught up in what you'll say next that you miss what the other person is saying. Instead, practice giving him or her your full attention.
Rule 2
Make the other guy look good
Want to know one of the biggest mistakes improv actors can make? It's sabotaging collaboration by trying to be the star. What works far better for everyone, including you, says Kabat, is to make others look good. "I call it putting spirit over ego. Rather than try to be the funniest or smartest performer, I tell them to respond to the other person as truthfully as possible," she says. "Stealing the scene tends to compromise the effectiveness of the show-not to mention make your partner uncomfortable."
Translated into real life, Mistal says that we often operate under the assumption that if we make someone else look good, we will then look bad by comparison-and, in turn, by making someone else look bad, we come off smelling like roses. In fact, just the opposite occurs. "Passing blame as a way of saving face works in reverse," she says. "People never forget when they were thrown under the bus."
Try it: Spread good gossip. Find opportunities not just to praise people directly and publicly, but to share their gifts, skills, or accomplishments with others. In so doing, you become the bearer of good news-and you also come off as the kind of person who's big enough to acknowledge and appreciate others' efforts and abilities.
Rule 3
Trust your gut
In an effort to make valuable contributions, we often suppress our first and best instinct. "We tend to put our own ideas down as too obvious or stupid -- like if it's my idea, it mustn't be very good," says Chapuran. "This is often not the case at all." In improv, unique ideas don't come from trying harder, he says; they emerge naturally. "You don't have to out-unique yourself," he says. "I've wasted time and good ideas trying to be funnier, and I didn't have to."
Mistal agrees that we tend to live under the impression that success is achieved only through sweat and hard work. "If anything, the fact that something comes easily to you could be a sign that it's the right thing," she says. "When you get into the flow and rhythm of what you're meant to be doing, it comes naturally." It shouldn't have to be a struggle.
Try it: Go with it. Don't deep-six your first idea just because it came to you quickly and effortlessly. Instead of negating it, run with it and see where it takes you. Try to resist the notion that you need to be super smart or creative every single time you open your mouth, says Chapuran. "You would be surprised at how sometimes simply stating the obvious is the most valuable thing you can do."
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Day 112 - Nonchalant Observer -Installment #3 – Retirement Community Happy Hour
November 28, 2009
Today is my third installment of my “Nonchalant Observer” series. On day 22, I observed (judged) what crossed my path as I sat with my coffee on my Brooklyn stoop. On day 38, I took you with me to the happenings of beach life in the surfing town of Hermosa Beach, California. Today, we're crossing the age gap and hitting a retirement community. During happy hour.
My 89 year old grandma Rae recently moved into an assisted living community called “The Palms” of Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. My other 89 year old grandmother, Harriet, has lived in a retirement home in Greensboro, North Carolina called Abbotswood for several years so I am not unfamiliar with how life works in these communities. Imagine a dorm furnished like an upscale hotel with indoor pools, salons and people hooking up. I’m tempted to write a nighttime soap opera called “Kabatswood” that documents how steamy it can get during a heated game of bingo and the back handed competition to land the newest widower resident. I want the opening montage to be” The Young and the Restless” theme song with old people making dramatic head turns to the camera in fuzzy lighting. Yesterday, I visited Grandma Rae during happy hour and I knew geriatrics plus alcohol must be documented.
I made detailed notes from 4:00pm-5:00pm on Friday November 27, 2009.
The following is presented in “real” time:
4:01 – Grandma “parks” her walker amongst many others across the hall. I’m thinking there should be a public service announcement commercial with someone like Chuck Norris saying, “Please, elderly people, if you must drink, don’t use your walker.” Then there would be a shooting star and rainbow.
4:04 – Grandma and I grab a corner table and I notice the festive vibe, beautiful mahogany bar and a volunteer on the piano playing “As Time Goes By." Interesting choice.
4:17 – After getting Grandma situated at our table, I go up to the bar to get our drinks. The bartender is a 40 something cute skinny blonde with big hair who looks like she could have been employed at Mel’s Diner. I assume her name is Trixie. Or Wanda. Interesting note, I order a ginger ale for myself and a white wine for my grandmother. I’m no saint...I had just had a Venti Bloody Mary with my mom.
4:20 - One heavily make-uped woman in bright flowing clothes is stumbling across the room with her wine and flirting with disinterested men. Token assisted living floozy?
4:23 – My grandmother might be the nicest person. Ever. She is beautiful, sweet and very southern. She smiles and says hello to everyone. A woman named Helen walks by and Grandma asks her how she is and Helen’s reply was, “Horrible and alone.” Then she told us about her bad knee for 10 minutes.
4:33 – A chatty volunteer (around 60) hears I’m a comedian and sits at our table to test his material. Every joke is done with a Yiddish accent. I don’t remember any of them. But one was about Chinese people.
4:45 – I ask grandma if there are any gentleman that she finds “special.” She surveys the room and tells me, “not interested.”
4:50 – I notice two grandfather types talking at the bar wearing cardigans. Old men love cardigans. One of them is drinking from a 1930’s leather flask. I can’t hear them but I want to assume they’re talking about the war. Not the Gulf War.
4:59 – Grandma tells me in her classy molasses southern accent, “Have ya noticed darlin’… most of the people here are elderly.”
Today is my third installment of my “Nonchalant Observer” series. On day 22, I observed (judged) what crossed my path as I sat with my coffee on my Brooklyn stoop. On day 38, I took you with me to the happenings of beach life in the surfing town of Hermosa Beach, California. Today, we're crossing the age gap and hitting a retirement community. During happy hour.
My 89 year old grandma Rae recently moved into an assisted living community called “The Palms” of Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. My other 89 year old grandmother, Harriet, has lived in a retirement home in Greensboro, North Carolina called Abbotswood for several years so I am not unfamiliar with how life works in these communities. Imagine a dorm furnished like an upscale hotel with indoor pools, salons and people hooking up. I’m tempted to write a nighttime soap opera called “Kabatswood” that documents how steamy it can get during a heated game of bingo and the back handed competition to land the newest widower resident. I want the opening montage to be” The Young and the Restless” theme song with old people making dramatic head turns to the camera in fuzzy lighting. Yesterday, I visited Grandma Rae during happy hour and I knew geriatrics plus alcohol must be documented.
I made detailed notes from 4:00pm-5:00pm on Friday November 27, 2009.
The following is presented in “real” time:
4:01 – Grandma “parks” her walker amongst many others across the hall. I’m thinking there should be a public service announcement commercial with someone like Chuck Norris saying, “Please, elderly people, if you must drink, don’t use your walker.” Then there would be a shooting star and rainbow.
4:04 – Grandma and I grab a corner table and I notice the festive vibe, beautiful mahogany bar and a volunteer on the piano playing “As Time Goes By." Interesting choice.
4:17 – After getting Grandma situated at our table, I go up to the bar to get our drinks. The bartender is a 40 something cute skinny blonde with big hair who looks like she could have been employed at Mel’s Diner. I assume her name is Trixie. Or Wanda. Interesting note, I order a ginger ale for myself and a white wine for my grandmother. I’m no saint...I had just had a Venti Bloody Mary with my mom.
4:20 - One heavily make-uped woman in bright flowing clothes is stumbling across the room with her wine and flirting with disinterested men. Token assisted living floozy?
4:23 – My grandmother might be the nicest person. Ever. She is beautiful, sweet and very southern. She smiles and says hello to everyone. A woman named Helen walks by and Grandma asks her how she is and Helen’s reply was, “Horrible and alone.” Then she told us about her bad knee for 10 minutes.
4:33 – A chatty volunteer (around 60) hears I’m a comedian and sits at our table to test his material. Every joke is done with a Yiddish accent. I don’t remember any of them. But one was about Chinese people.
4:45 – I ask grandma if there are any gentleman that she finds “special.” She surveys the room and tells me, “not interested.”
4:50 – I notice two grandfather types talking at the bar wearing cardigans. Old men love cardigans. One of them is drinking from a 1930’s leather flask. I can’t hear them but I want to assume they’re talking about the war. Not the Gulf War.
4:59 – Grandma tells me in her classy molasses southern accent, “Have ya noticed darlin’… most of the people here are elderly.”
Friday, November 27, 2009
Day 111 Tryptophan, ER and Mom
November 27th, 2009
I’m down in Charleston, South Carolina for Thanksgiving weekend. So far:
1. Last night’s meal was a cornucopia of culinary goodness that would put Martha Stewart and other food snobs to shame.
2. I took a bubble bath. With bubbles. Not Michael Jackson’s beloved chimp in the 80’s.
3. I woke up this morning at 5:30 to my mom making a 911 call because my stepfather had aspirated and was unconscious. Cut to a few minutes later when their bedroom was filled with firemen, policemen and paramedics. Oh yeah 3 barking dachshunds (locked in the office) added to the ambience. Yet, everyone was cool. Especially my mom. This is nothing new.
My stepfather has been to the emergency room 25+ times over the last ten years. In 1999, he received large doses of radiation for cancer treatments and since that time his swallowing and breathing has been debilitated. Episodes like the one above generally land him in the hospital for 2 to 5 days (sometimes longer) while receiving intravenous antibiotics to treat his frequent lung infections and inflammation or pneumonia.
Over the years, he continues to appear on the brink of death, then (in alarming record speed) recovers. Every time. So far. He was unconscious longer than usual this time around so there was concern as to why. Then....as a Thanksgiving miracle should be...he came to. One of the male nurses is convinced that his extended slumber was the result of the tryptophan from the Turkey. There is much debate whether this amino acid truly does act as a natural sedative. It seemed pretty factual today.
I’m not making light of this scenario because his constant health rollercoaster is of great concern. Yet my mom has discovered some centered and admirable space that is present, efficient and heartfelt as she always revisits the familiar routine: She finds her husband unconscious - calls 911- medical types are in the house - medical types take him to the ER - he’s hooked up to scary machines - then.... he’s back in the land of the living – repeat cycle.
My step father is a doctor. An ophthalmologist. Yet it is my mother who has played nurse for the past decade. She holds her own talking medical linguistics with everyone involved in his recovery. It blows me away. She used big words, works respirators and changes trachea tubes. Yeah, confuses me too.
Once we received the word that he had pulled through, mom and I got some lunch. We talked about how she was a biology major and had always had an interest in science but getting married at 21 resulted with her switching her major to education. She has no regrets because she has two children who are “honest, moral, curious and have the ability to be present, especially when needed.” Nice. Right?
Here’s what’s interesting about mom. She admits that she has been known to exhibit “anxiety” when life’s smaller mishaps occur. Yet, under extreme pressure, no one is as collected as my mother. She is finding that these more traumatic events are assisting her with riding through all of life’s unknowns.
Mom: Nothing is constant but change
Jax – Did you make that up?
Mom – No. But I use it.
I asked her the fastest way that she can shift her mood. Mom lives on the beach and finds long meditative walks nurturing. If you don’t live by the ocean....I suggest running your bath and just taking a meditative saunter around your bathroom. Also, she finds cozy rituals are helpful. She starts and ends her days on the porch over looking the water. In the morning, with coffee. At night, with brandy.
Mom and I bonded and I am grateful for that.
I am also grateful that I have learned of a real life scenario that is analogous to a movie cliché. As we know, many films will have local police handling a crime. Eventually (to the dismay of the cops) the FBI will take over the scene. There is always a bit of animosity between these two groups as the local guys feel jilted about the hierarchy of crime solving. As I mentioned this morning, the firemen and policemen showed up first to do some basic medical work on my stepfather. Once the EMS(paramedics) arrived with their fancy medical equipment and(less than a doctor but more than a fireman) medical training... I sensed there was a similar rivalry.
I’m down in Charleston, South Carolina for Thanksgiving weekend. So far:
1. Last night’s meal was a cornucopia of culinary goodness that would put Martha Stewart and other food snobs to shame.
2. I took a bubble bath. With bubbles. Not Michael Jackson’s beloved chimp in the 80’s.
3. I woke up this morning at 5:30 to my mom making a 911 call because my stepfather had aspirated and was unconscious. Cut to a few minutes later when their bedroom was filled with firemen, policemen and paramedics. Oh yeah 3 barking dachshunds (locked in the office) added to the ambience. Yet, everyone was cool. Especially my mom. This is nothing new.
My stepfather has been to the emergency room 25+ times over the last ten years. In 1999, he received large doses of radiation for cancer treatments and since that time his swallowing and breathing has been debilitated. Episodes like the one above generally land him in the hospital for 2 to 5 days (sometimes longer) while receiving intravenous antibiotics to treat his frequent lung infections and inflammation or pneumonia.
Over the years, he continues to appear on the brink of death, then (in alarming record speed) recovers. Every time. So far. He was unconscious longer than usual this time around so there was concern as to why. Then....as a Thanksgiving miracle should be...he came to. One of the male nurses is convinced that his extended slumber was the result of the tryptophan from the Turkey. There is much debate whether this amino acid truly does act as a natural sedative. It seemed pretty factual today.
I’m not making light of this scenario because his constant health rollercoaster is of great concern. Yet my mom has discovered some centered and admirable space that is present, efficient and heartfelt as she always revisits the familiar routine: She finds her husband unconscious - calls 911- medical types are in the house - medical types take him to the ER - he’s hooked up to scary machines - then.... he’s back in the land of the living – repeat cycle.
My step father is a doctor. An ophthalmologist. Yet it is my mother who has played nurse for the past decade. She holds her own talking medical linguistics with everyone involved in his recovery. It blows me away. She used big words, works respirators and changes trachea tubes. Yeah, confuses me too.
Once we received the word that he had pulled through, mom and I got some lunch. We talked about how she was a biology major and had always had an interest in science but getting married at 21 resulted with her switching her major to education. She has no regrets because she has two children who are “honest, moral, curious and have the ability to be present, especially when needed.” Nice. Right?
Here’s what’s interesting about mom. She admits that she has been known to exhibit “anxiety” when life’s smaller mishaps occur. Yet, under extreme pressure, no one is as collected as my mother. She is finding that these more traumatic events are assisting her with riding through all of life’s unknowns.
Mom: Nothing is constant but change
Jax – Did you make that up?
Mom – No. But I use it.
I asked her the fastest way that she can shift her mood. Mom lives on the beach and finds long meditative walks nurturing. If you don’t live by the ocean....I suggest running your bath and just taking a meditative saunter around your bathroom. Also, she finds cozy rituals are helpful. She starts and ends her days on the porch over looking the water. In the morning, with coffee. At night, with brandy.
Mom and I bonded and I am grateful for that.
I am also grateful that I have learned of a real life scenario that is analogous to a movie cliché. As we know, many films will have local police handling a crime. Eventually (to the dismay of the cops) the FBI will take over the scene. There is always a bit of animosity between these two groups as the local guys feel jilted about the hierarchy of crime solving. As I mentioned this morning, the firemen and policemen showed up first to do some basic medical work on my stepfather. Once the EMS(paramedics) arrived with their fancy medical equipment and(less than a doctor but more than a fireman) medical training... I sensed there was a similar rivalry.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Day 110 - Thankful for So Much. Not You CNN
November 26th, 2009
Its Thanksgiving morning and I’m waiting at the gate for an early flight to see my family in Charleston, South Carolina. Why didn’t I leave last night? There is nothing I loathe more than being caught in the mayhem of an airport during the busiest day of the year. I think outside the box. The black box. So far so good. The Pakistani car service driver was so courteous that I offered to buy him a cup of coffee before the drive to LaGuardia. He seemed surprised by the gesture and accepted my offer. He took it regular with one sugar. The gentleman who gave me my ticket at the curbside check in was in good spirits. In fact, he told me that I looked nice in my driver’s license picture. Then he casually said, “Have a good trip Jax.” I found that odd as he wasn’t in the Jax nickname loop. Did he know me better than I knew myself? Side note. The guy who ran my high school media center (library) checked luggage at the airport during the summer. Awkward.
I figured now would be a good time to express all that I am grateful for. However, CNN is blasting their journalistic dribble and its invading my attention span. I’m going to do the best that I can and list what I am thankful for but bare with me as snippets of mediocre journalism oozes through.
I AM THANKFUL THAT
- Both my Grandmothers are alive and will be turning 90 this year. I will see one of them in a few hours and (as always) she will tell me that I look thinner. After hearing that for years, I imagine that I’m at my goal weight of zero.
- I’ve never dropped my Blackberry in the toilet.
- I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses.
- I am not the kind of girl who drinks appletinis, watches Grey’s Anatomy and sings along to “I will Survive”.
CNN DISTRACTION
Last night, a couple from Virginia crashed a State Dinner at the White House. They upped their classiness when they posted their pictures with Joe Biden on their Facebook page. Furthermore, it turns out that they’re reality show wannabees who are in the running to be on “The Real Housewives of DC”. At least they didn’t claim that their child was flying away in some giant tin foil balloon. Yet.
I AM THANKFUL THAT
- I’ve never had to dress up in a chicken costume.
- I am certain that I love teaching, performing and writing comedy. Plus, I think I’m alright at it. There is an anchor and safety in knowing what you love. And pursuing it.
- I generally am trying to better myself.
- I am not the person who squeezes the seeds for pomegranate juice.
- I love my family and they love me.
CNN DISTRACTION
“When we return, we’re going to share some haunting texts that people sent from the towers on 911 AND get excited..because tomorrow’s a BIG shopping day!”
I AM THANKFUL THAT
-I am healthy.
- I’ve gotten to day 110 of this 365 day blog entry challenge. I might actually finish this thing.
- I don’t have to eat yogurt that keeps my digestive tracks in order.
- I have pretty good hair
- Not only do I have a lot of friends...I am surrounded by people who are kind, authentic and enriching.
CNN DISTRACTION
There appears to be a coked up sub par journalist at the festivities pre -Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.The big news is that there is a Spider-man balloon and a new longer route. Some of the balloon handlers are nervous about increasing their pace. After surveying the portliness of the balloon carriers, I am wondering the same thing. My guess is that people who attend this parade hail from every city in the world. Except New York. Ms. Journalist hits the crowds for some questions.
“Why did you come?”
“I don’t know.”
“What are you looking forward to the most?”
“I don’t know.”
I AM THANKFUL THAT
- I have readers who actually take the time to visit my blog. Your feedback, support and appreciation keeps me going. Thank you.
I’d like to share one final thought before I board Delta Flight 6010. There is a man sitting next to me reading a book called "Coping with Being a Genius". I’m going to suggest my follow up book called "Coping with Being a Person Self Righteous Enough to be Reading 'Coping with Being a Genius' in Public".
Its Thanksgiving morning and I’m waiting at the gate for an early flight to see my family in Charleston, South Carolina. Why didn’t I leave last night? There is nothing I loathe more than being caught in the mayhem of an airport during the busiest day of the year. I think outside the box. The black box. So far so good. The Pakistani car service driver was so courteous that I offered to buy him a cup of coffee before the drive to LaGuardia. He seemed surprised by the gesture and accepted my offer. He took it regular with one sugar. The gentleman who gave me my ticket at the curbside check in was in good spirits. In fact, he told me that I looked nice in my driver’s license picture. Then he casually said, “Have a good trip Jax.” I found that odd as he wasn’t in the Jax nickname loop. Did he know me better than I knew myself? Side note. The guy who ran my high school media center (library) checked luggage at the airport during the summer. Awkward.
I figured now would be a good time to express all that I am grateful for. However, CNN is blasting their journalistic dribble and its invading my attention span. I’m going to do the best that I can and list what I am thankful for but bare with me as snippets of mediocre journalism oozes through.
I AM THANKFUL THAT
- Both my Grandmothers are alive and will be turning 90 this year. I will see one of them in a few hours and (as always) she will tell me that I look thinner. After hearing that for years, I imagine that I’m at my goal weight of zero.
- I’ve never dropped my Blackberry in the toilet.
- I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses.
- I am not the kind of girl who drinks appletinis, watches Grey’s Anatomy and sings along to “I will Survive”.
CNN DISTRACTION
Last night, a couple from Virginia crashed a State Dinner at the White House. They upped their classiness when they posted their pictures with Joe Biden on their Facebook page. Furthermore, it turns out that they’re reality show wannabees who are in the running to be on “The Real Housewives of DC”. At least they didn’t claim that their child was flying away in some giant tin foil balloon. Yet.
I AM THANKFUL THAT
- I’ve never had to dress up in a chicken costume.
- I am certain that I love teaching, performing and writing comedy. Plus, I think I’m alright at it. There is an anchor and safety in knowing what you love. And pursuing it.
- I generally am trying to better myself.
- I am not the person who squeezes the seeds for pomegranate juice.
- I love my family and they love me.
CNN DISTRACTION
“When we return, we’re going to share some haunting texts that people sent from the towers on 911 AND get excited..because tomorrow’s a BIG shopping day!”
I AM THANKFUL THAT
-I am healthy.
- I’ve gotten to day 110 of this 365 day blog entry challenge. I might actually finish this thing.
- I don’t have to eat yogurt that keeps my digestive tracks in order.
- I have pretty good hair
- Not only do I have a lot of friends...I am surrounded by people who are kind, authentic and enriching.
CNN DISTRACTION
There appears to be a coked up sub par journalist at the festivities pre -Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.The big news is that there is a Spider-man balloon and a new longer route. Some of the balloon handlers are nervous about increasing their pace. After surveying the portliness of the balloon carriers, I am wondering the same thing. My guess is that people who attend this parade hail from every city in the world. Except New York. Ms. Journalist hits the crowds for some questions.
“Why did you come?”
“I don’t know.”
“What are you looking forward to the most?”
“I don’t know.”
I AM THANKFUL THAT
- I have readers who actually take the time to visit my blog. Your feedback, support and appreciation keeps me going. Thank you.
I’d like to share one final thought before I board Delta Flight 6010. There is a man sitting next to me reading a book called "Coping with Being a Genius". I’m going to suggest my follow up book called "Coping with Being a Person Self Righteous Enough to be Reading 'Coping with Being a Genius' in Public".
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Day 109 - Obesity Rate: Fan of Thanksgiving
November 25th, 2009
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I feel obliged to explore this secular holiday that encourages us to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude while we gather and devour an excess amount of food with friends and family. Very pertinent reasons to take pause. Yet the first thing that came to my mind was the predicament people with less than five fingers on one hand face when drawing a turkey. Sad.
In order to run with the Thanksgiving concept, I feel it is appropriate to bring back Johnson and Phillips. I introduced them to you in “Day 16 - Bacon Fetish”, you grew to love them in“Day 43 - Take a Load Off Annie” and you felt a combination of complicated emotions for these guys by" Day 63 - You Hate Me. You Really Really Hate Me" and you considered making a baby with them in "Day 93 – 1993". As a reminder, they are reoccurring fictionalized (but real in my heart) ahead of their time marketing executives with a mutual interest in each other’s wives and unsubtle sexual innuendo for each other. Let’s just assume that the conceptualization of Thanksgiving took place in your typical 17 Century boardroom in Plymouth, Massachusetts.
JOHNSON: Phillips, first let me say that you look dashing in you pantaloons.(Long sigh oozing with sexual tension.) OK. Let's get to work! I want to create an iconic holiday that is generally referred to as.."This is so Solid"...no..."Another Reason for Americans to Overeat"..no..."Thanksgiving". Yes, Thanksgiving!
PHILLIPS:I love it you stocking wearing genius! The Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony and the Wampanoags Indians can celebrate their peaceful co-existence and the harvest after a brutal winter.
JOHNSON: Just like the harvest that I planted in your wife last night Phillips!
PHILLIPS: Exactly! Venison and wild fowl will be eaten on this special day. Then..centuries later..to throw things off for no apparent reason.... Americans will indulge in pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce.
JOHNSON: Half assing tradition! Brilliant.
PHILLIPS: For some exotic flair, let's throw in a Patuxet Native American named Squanto. He resides with the Wampanoag tribe, teaches the Pilgrims how to catch eel and grow corn and serves as an interpreter.
JOHNSON: Yes! The European settlers will return the favor by introducing the indigenous people to influenza, bubonic plague and smallpox infested blankets!
PHILLIPS: Superb. Simply magnificent. Hold me Johnson. Just hold me.
JOHNSON: Come here you colonial slice of heaven. I want to explore your Plymouth Rock.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I feel obliged to explore this secular holiday that encourages us to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude while we gather and devour an excess amount of food with friends and family. Very pertinent reasons to take pause. Yet the first thing that came to my mind was the predicament people with less than five fingers on one hand face when drawing a turkey. Sad.
In order to run with the Thanksgiving concept, I feel it is appropriate to bring back Johnson and Phillips. I introduced them to you in “Day 16 - Bacon Fetish”, you grew to love them in“Day 43 - Take a Load Off Annie” and you felt a combination of complicated emotions for these guys by" Day 63 - You Hate Me. You Really Really Hate Me" and you considered making a baby with them in "Day 93 – 1993". As a reminder, they are reoccurring fictionalized (but real in my heart) ahead of their time marketing executives with a mutual interest in each other’s wives and unsubtle sexual innuendo for each other. Let’s just assume that the conceptualization of Thanksgiving took place in your typical 17 Century boardroom in Plymouth, Massachusetts.
JOHNSON: Phillips, first let me say that you look dashing in you pantaloons.(Long sigh oozing with sexual tension.) OK. Let's get to work! I want to create an iconic holiday that is generally referred to as.."This is so Solid"...no..."Another Reason for Americans to Overeat"..no..."Thanksgiving". Yes, Thanksgiving!
PHILLIPS:I love it you stocking wearing genius! The Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony and the Wampanoags Indians can celebrate their peaceful co-existence and the harvest after a brutal winter.
JOHNSON: Just like the harvest that I planted in your wife last night Phillips!
PHILLIPS: Exactly! Venison and wild fowl will be eaten on this special day. Then..centuries later..to throw things off for no apparent reason.... Americans will indulge in pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce.
JOHNSON: Half assing tradition! Brilliant.
PHILLIPS: For some exotic flair, let's throw in a Patuxet Native American named Squanto. He resides with the Wampanoag tribe, teaches the Pilgrims how to catch eel and grow corn and serves as an interpreter.
JOHNSON: Yes! The European settlers will return the favor by introducing the indigenous people to influenza, bubonic plague and smallpox infested blankets!
PHILLIPS: Superb. Simply magnificent. Hold me Johnson. Just hold me.
JOHNSON: Come here you colonial slice of heaven. I want to explore your Plymouth Rock.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Day 108 - Dear Diary
November 24th, 2009
I was rereading some old journal entries and letters I’ve written and received. It really exemplifies that just putting your hopes, dreams and seemingly random thoughts into writing doesn’t get lost in the universe. Many of these passages were written around the time I was training for the San Diego Marathon in 2005. A lot of metaphors during this time. Most of the below was written before I was a “committed” to blogging and really explored my work making the connection between humor and health. I needed to reread this for myself today. I hope you enjoy.
MAY 2, 2004
I find it so valuable to surround myself with people who are simply trying to better themselves. It’s a beautiful thing. Of course, facing your fears is a personal journey and it is best to approach it in the way that feels right for you. Personally, I feel that people who feel things deeply often possess a heightened emotional intelligence that mainstream society fails to recognize. I also feel that’s a big reason certain people have addictions…not knowing how to deal with that “feeling”.
MAY 6, 2004
Dream job...it's funny...I've been thinking about that recently.This journal writing and my freelance magazine work is my constant. As much as I connect with and enjoy this "introspective" and "open minded" side of myself...it can be so heavy as a “full time endeavor”…I have to keep myself in check…do light things too. I really believe in the medicinal effect of humor. I wonder if there is a way to combine these 2 passions. I've been thinking of a concept..."Spiritual Comedy". I think if I can expand on these two strengths that have been continually pivotal in my life on so many levels.......I would really have something unique and honest to share with the world...through writing perhaps. In the meantime, I will continue to take it day by day.
MARCH 11, 2005
I need to take bigger creative risks. It motivates me to plug away with creative endeavors. I was born with a right brain..it’s just tough to be in this city where one’s success is measured by corporate success.…pursuing the arts certainly can be lonely.How great it would be to be measured by being present, self aware with the courage to follow your heart. My goal is to stay on this path and keep myself surrounded by those that live with the same philosophy.
MARCH 12, 2005
My marathon training is paying off.I just ran from 13th to 143rd….and back. Not sure if there is clear segue here..but I like this quote:
I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.
-Herbert Bayard Swope
JUNE 7,2005
I ran 26.2 miles in the San Diego Rock n’ Roll Marathon! I did it through Team in Training and raised several thousand dollars for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. What an experience…don’t know where to start. I think it’s best to just recall the moments that stood out the most. The night before at the pasta party, I was really reminded and touched by the fact that amazing people directly affected with Leukemia and Lymphoma were there. 3300 Team in Training participants raised 12.5 million dollars! There were so many visuals that stand out while running. One of the most pivotal moments was when I was rounding a corner at mile 11. There was a very simply dressed man(around 60) that was holding a no frills poster that said “I’m a Leukemia survivor…thank you.” He had such an expression of sincerity. I got a little choked up. Also, seeing my family at mile 131/2 was another peak. That support gave me such a lift and inspired an interesting metaphor…I am capable on my own…but better with people (especially the support of loved ones.) When I ran passed my brother I told him, "There is so much cowbell.”
JUNE13th 2006
This was a letter from an ex-boyfriend.
“You certainly are a fighter. One of your many amazing qualities. You are definitely on the right track. You light up whenever you talk about your classes. I deal with vulnerability too, as i prefer to have my shit together than to admit that I may need assistance. I'm working on it. We're working it. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna do great. I admire your drive. One day we'll both look back and laugh. At the poor people.”
January 13th 2007
Here is a letter that I wrote to a very special photography teacher that I had for a workshop in 2001 in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Hey Ms. Wendy!
I was doing a “big clean” over the weekend and found my Santa Fe folder with your email. I have to tell ya woman… you made such a significant impact in my life and think about that experience in “Beginner’s Photography” quite a bit. In fact, I have made some career choices that have inspired me to draw from what I learned from you. As you might recall, I have been involved with sketch comedy and improv comedy for about 10 years here in New York City. During most of that time I had "real" jobs to supplement myself so I could do these creative endeavors. I had a wake up call(that sounds so gentle because it felt more like a rude awakening that I need to truly declare myself an artist and pursue it full time.)
I have continued to perform professionally but what I am so excited to share with you is that I’ve been teaching comedy improv and have discovered that I actually have a gift for this and get a joy from the experience that is totally separate from performing. I started off just renting theater space in Manhattan and teaching beginner’s classes. Most of my students were in the corporate world (not starving artists) and what I realized was substantial. I had the opportunity to help people tap back into their creativity. The results were phenomenal.They looked brighter..their physicality changed..their spirit shined(very similar to your students as well.) I really saw how the art and rules of comedy improv(or all art) is basically a spiritual tool that can truly help people see their potential. I started marketing my workshops to places that “promote” the idea of wellness and the response has been great. I have done workshops at The New Age Health Spa and The Deepak Chopra Center. Next month, I am going to a fancy destination spa called Cal-A-Vie in San Diego(and bringing mom for her 60th birthday!) I also started marketing my services to the corporate world as these people need to lighten up. I'm focusing on where I want to go.
I’ve really enjoyed working for myself and have basically begun a small business that I truly believe in. I’m taking a big risk..but I know this is my “purpose” and don’t have another choice. Thank you for the inspiration.
-Jacqueline
I think it's appropriate to end this entry with the following:
Be careful what you think,
What you think leads to your words,
Your words lead to your action,
Your action leads to your habits,
Your habits lead to your destiny
-Author unknown
I was rereading some old journal entries and letters I’ve written and received. It really exemplifies that just putting your hopes, dreams and seemingly random thoughts into writing doesn’t get lost in the universe. Many of these passages were written around the time I was training for the San Diego Marathon in 2005. A lot of metaphors during this time. Most of the below was written before I was a “committed” to blogging and really explored my work making the connection between humor and health. I needed to reread this for myself today. I hope you enjoy.
MAY 2, 2004
I find it so valuable to surround myself with people who are simply trying to better themselves. It’s a beautiful thing. Of course, facing your fears is a personal journey and it is best to approach it in the way that feels right for you. Personally, I feel that people who feel things deeply often possess a heightened emotional intelligence that mainstream society fails to recognize. I also feel that’s a big reason certain people have addictions…not knowing how to deal with that “feeling”.
MAY 6, 2004
Dream job...it's funny...I've been thinking about that recently.This journal writing and my freelance magazine work is my constant. As much as I connect with and enjoy this "introspective" and "open minded" side of myself...it can be so heavy as a “full time endeavor”…I have to keep myself in check…do light things too. I really believe in the medicinal effect of humor. I wonder if there is a way to combine these 2 passions. I've been thinking of a concept..."Spiritual Comedy". I think if I can expand on these two strengths that have been continually pivotal in my life on so many levels.......I would really have something unique and honest to share with the world...through writing perhaps. In the meantime, I will continue to take it day by day.
MARCH 11, 2005
I need to take bigger creative risks. It motivates me to plug away with creative endeavors. I was born with a right brain..it’s just tough to be in this city where one’s success is measured by corporate success.…pursuing the arts certainly can be lonely.How great it would be to be measured by being present, self aware with the courage to follow your heart. My goal is to stay on this path and keep myself surrounded by those that live with the same philosophy.
MARCH 12, 2005
My marathon training is paying off.I just ran from 13th to 143rd….and back. Not sure if there is clear segue here..but I like this quote:
I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.
-Herbert Bayard Swope
JUNE 7,2005
I ran 26.2 miles in the San Diego Rock n’ Roll Marathon! I did it through Team in Training and raised several thousand dollars for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. What an experience…don’t know where to start. I think it’s best to just recall the moments that stood out the most. The night before at the pasta party, I was really reminded and touched by the fact that amazing people directly affected with Leukemia and Lymphoma were there. 3300 Team in Training participants raised 12.5 million dollars! There were so many visuals that stand out while running. One of the most pivotal moments was when I was rounding a corner at mile 11. There was a very simply dressed man(around 60) that was holding a no frills poster that said “I’m a Leukemia survivor…thank you.” He had such an expression of sincerity. I got a little choked up. Also, seeing my family at mile 131/2 was another peak. That support gave me such a lift and inspired an interesting metaphor…I am capable on my own…but better with people (especially the support of loved ones.) When I ran passed my brother I told him, "There is so much cowbell.”
JUNE13th 2006
This was a letter from an ex-boyfriend.
“You certainly are a fighter. One of your many amazing qualities. You are definitely on the right track. You light up whenever you talk about your classes. I deal with vulnerability too, as i prefer to have my shit together than to admit that I may need assistance. I'm working on it. We're working it. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna do great. I admire your drive. One day we'll both look back and laugh. At the poor people.”
January 13th 2007
Here is a letter that I wrote to a very special photography teacher that I had for a workshop in 2001 in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Hey Ms. Wendy!
I was doing a “big clean” over the weekend and found my Santa Fe folder with your email. I have to tell ya woman… you made such a significant impact in my life and think about that experience in “Beginner’s Photography” quite a bit. In fact, I have made some career choices that have inspired me to draw from what I learned from you. As you might recall, I have been involved with sketch comedy and improv comedy for about 10 years here in New York City. During most of that time I had "real" jobs to supplement myself so I could do these creative endeavors. I had a wake up call(that sounds so gentle because it felt more like a rude awakening that I need to truly declare myself an artist and pursue it full time.)
I have continued to perform professionally but what I am so excited to share with you is that I’ve been teaching comedy improv and have discovered that I actually have a gift for this and get a joy from the experience that is totally separate from performing. I started off just renting theater space in Manhattan and teaching beginner’s classes. Most of my students were in the corporate world (not starving artists) and what I realized was substantial. I had the opportunity to help people tap back into their creativity. The results were phenomenal.They looked brighter..their physicality changed..their spirit shined(very similar to your students as well.) I really saw how the art and rules of comedy improv(or all art) is basically a spiritual tool that can truly help people see their potential. I started marketing my workshops to places that “promote” the idea of wellness and the response has been great. I have done workshops at The New Age Health Spa and The Deepak Chopra Center. Next month, I am going to a fancy destination spa called Cal-A-Vie in San Diego(and bringing mom for her 60th birthday!) I also started marketing my services to the corporate world as these people need to lighten up. I'm focusing on where I want to go.
I’ve really enjoyed working for myself and have basically begun a small business that I truly believe in. I’m taking a big risk..but I know this is my “purpose” and don’t have another choice. Thank you for the inspiration.
-Jacqueline
I think it's appropriate to end this entry with the following:
Be careful what you think,
What you think leads to your words,
Your words lead to your action,
Your action leads to your habits,
Your habits lead to your destiny
-Author unknown
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